


The White Pearl

by CoreyWW



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Action/Adventure, Bad Parenting, Bonding, Conspiracy, Corruption, Depression, Developing Friendships, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Escape, Evil, Evil Plans, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Homeworld is Horrible, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Imprisonment, Isolation, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mental Breakdown, Mind Manipulation, Orders, Pearl Solidarity (Steven Universe), Platonic Relationships, Sad, Slavery, Spaceships, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-16 03:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15427941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: Post-Legs From Here to Homeworld. Steven is locked away in a tower of pink bubbles by White Diamond. He has no idea where the Gems and Connie are. The only company he has in this horrible situation is White Diamond's Pearl, who Steven soon finds is far more complex than she seems. Eventually, they both go on a high-stakes adventure beyond what either one of them ever imagined.





	1. Movement

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Title image by [potatoutou](http://potatoutou.tumblr.com/). Please support the artist. (The Software Instability thing is a reference to Detroit: Become Human).

Steven was alone in the tower of pink bubbles when White’s Pearl appeared. She didn’t enter through a door (how could she? The tower didn’t seem to have one) so much as she phased through the wall, just like when she left originally.

Her smile was plastered on her face, her one eye staring at him. Like last time, she seemed frozen in that same awkward position: arms in the air, feet together, floating rather than walking.

“Hello Pink Diamond,” the Pearl said. “My Diamond has instructed me to keep you company for the time being.”

Steven frowned, then slumped in the corner.

“Is that a nice way of saying she sent you to spy on me?”

“That could be inferred,” the Pearl said, her expression and tone of voice unchanged.

Steven took a deep breath, hanging his head.

“Of course ...” he said. As much as Steven hated to admit it, the Pearl seemed kinda ... creepy to him. Not helped by the fact her voice sounded uncomfortably similar to White Diamond.

He looked up at the Pearl, who had not moved.

“You can ... move, right?” Steven said.

“Of course, Pink Diamond.”

“So ... why don’t you?”

“You haven’t ordered me to.”

Steven felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Well ... okay, you can move. Please.”

She didn’t. “Is that an order?”

“No. I’m just asking. I ... I want you to move if you feel like it.”

“Are you ordering me to want that?”

“No I--” Steven looked and saw she still hadn’t moved. “Alright, fine, yes, I order you to just move however you want. _Please_.”

White Pearl dropped her pose, suddenly looking exhausted. She started breathing heavily, like someone who had just run a marathon.

Steven flinched. Seeing White Pearl move, especially in such a human way, was jarring.

White Pearl looked up. She blinked rapidly, before the smile returned to her face. She straightened up.

“Please excuse that display,” White Pearl said, her tone returning to how it was originally.

“No I... I wanted you to move, it’s okay,” Steven said.

White Pearl nodded.

“Understood,” she said. “What other orders do you have for me, Pink Diamond?”

“I don’t ...” But Steven stopped. He’d been in the tower for almost a whole day. There were some things he wanted to know. “Actually, can you answer my questions?”

“Is that an or--”

“ _Yes_ , whatever.” It was taking Steven a lot of effort to not be annoyed by this. Every time he said he ordered her to do something, he felt _dirty_. “Can you tell me what happened to my friends?”

“White Diamond is currently in her ship. Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond are--”

“No no, not them!” Steven shook his head. “I mean the Crystal Gems! The other ones I came here with! And Connie! You know, the human? What happened to them?”

White Pearl’s mouth twitched for a fraction of a second.

“My apologies,” White Pearl said, “but my Diamond has forbidden me from answering questions relating to them.”

Steven clenched his fist and glared. He _had_ to know what had happened to them. They could be captured or ... or worse. He didn’t even want to consider what they could be going through.

“What if I ordered you to tell me?” Steven said, harsher than he meant to.

“I’m afraid that is of no consequence,” White Pearl said. “You may be a Diamond, but White is _My_ Diamond.”

Steven grimaced. His face contorted. He felt his eyes well with tears, but he tried to suck it up. If White Pearl was sent to spy on him, he didn’t want to give White Diamond the satisfaction of knowing he was crying.

“I’m sorry if that displeases you,” White Pearl said pleasantly.

Steven shook his head.

“No,” he said in a crackly voice. “No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. I know you have to follow orders.”

White Pearl gave a small bow.

“You honor me with your understanding, Pink Diamond.”

“... can you please call me Steven?”

“Is that a--”

“Yes, just ... assume when I say please it’s an order. I feel really bad having to say that each time!”

“Understood ... Steven.”


	2. Sight

Steven sat in silence for a while, unable to think of anything but his friends. Where they could be, what White Diamond could be doing to them ...

Knowing how horrible Homeworld was, he shuddered imagining what could be happening to Garnet. Or Pearl. Or _Connie_.

He pulled his knees into his chest. He looked up to see White Pearl there, watching him.

She smiled as soon as she caught eyes with Steven.

Steven shuddered. She was moving around normally, but she still put on that same expression whenever Steven was looking. It wasn’t her fault; after all, he knew how pearls get treated. But still, it was unsettling.

But still, she was the only one Steven had to talk to. Maybe he couldn’t ask her about his friends, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t ask her other things.

“... can I ask you a personal question, please?” Steven said.

“Of course,” White Pearl said.

“And I want you to tell me if this makes you uncomfortable, okay? Don’t just answer cause I ... said please and you know that’s an order, okay? Please.”

White Pearl blinked.

“Alright,” she said almost hesitantly. “What is your question?”

“... what ... happened to your eye?”

White Pearl closed her eye and tilted her head, widening her smile.

“That’s a simple explanation,” she said. “My Gem was originally on my eye, at My Diamonds’ request. Some time after that, however, My Diamond saw fit to modify my appearance.”

Steven’s mouth went wide.

“So, what, she just took your Gem and moved it?!” he shouted.

“It’s slightly more complicated than that, but yes,” White Pearl said.

“But, doesn’t that ...” Steven gulped. “Didn’t that _hurt_?”

White Pearl blinked. Her smile actually fell for a moment.

“It’s ... difficult to remember something so long ago,” White Pearl said.

Steven was positive that was a lie, but he said nothing.

“Um ... okay,” he said softly. “Why don’t you just shapeshift an eye in its place?”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. I was manufactured on Homeworld after the start of the resource scarcity. I possess no inherent Gem powers.”

“But ... you float and you go through walls ...”

“Those abilities were gifted to me by My Diamond to better serve her.”

“... she can just _do_ that?”

“Among other things. But I have no abilities on my own, and certainly not the ability to shapeshift.” White Pearl’s smile returned. “Besides ... even if I could change my shape, I doubt White Diamond would order me to do so. She finds my current appearance _amusing_.”

Steven shuddered.

“... have you ever tried?” he asked.

White Pearl stifled a giggle. (Steven noted it was the first time he ever heard her laugh).

“What purpose would _that_ serve?” she said. “It’s simply not possible.”

“That’s not true!” Steven rose to his feet, clenching his fist. “One of my friends is a Peridot made on Homeworld! She thought she didn’t have powers either and now she can move metal with her mind!”

White Pearl blinked.

“I ... think perhaps you’re confused. Do your organic components require food or--”

“No, listen!” He gripped the sides of her arms and gave her a gentle shake. “I know what I’m talking about! I don’t know for sure you could do it, but you could at least try! _Please_!”

White Pearl’s mouth twitched.

“If ... that is what you order, Steven,” she said. For the first time, there was a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

White Pearl took a step back. She stretched her arms out.

“Shapeshifting powers ... activate,” White Pearl said in a bored tone. One second later, her arms flopped down. “My apologies, it did not work--”

“Pearl, I don’t think you were really trying.”

“Of course I did. _You ordered me to_.” Her voice raised.

“Maybe if you tried again?”

“I ... can try if you so will it, but I must say I fail to see its purpose.”

“Pearl, I know you can do it!”

White Pearl grimaced. “You’re giving me an impossible order, Steven.”

“But--”

Suddenly, White Pearl shouted and screamed, “ _Just stop mocking me_!”

Steven flinched. White Pearl’s expression softened a moment later. Her eye went wide.

“I ...” White Pearl put her hand to her mouth. Slowly, her smile reappeared, but her voice remained shakey. “My apologies. Your earlier order to mention when I was uncomfortable conflicted with this current order. This ... must have confused my programming.”

“I...” Steven backed away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine,” White Pearl said, her unsettling smile returned. “You didn’t upset me.” She paused. “Pearls never get upset.”

Steven just stared at her.

They were silent for a while after that.


	3. Prisoner

Eventually, Steven’s stomach started to rumble.

“Do you require food, Steven?” White Pearl asked gently.

Steven, who had said nothing since her outburst earlier, shook his head.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled.

His stomach rumbled louder. Steven clutched his midsection, huddling against the wall of the tower.

White Pearl’s eye lingered over his Gem.

“Is your Gem damaged?” she asked.

“No,” Steven said. “T-that just means I am hungry.”

White Pearl blinked. “But I thought--”

“I-I was lying,” Steven said.

White Pearl gave a nod. “Ah.” She paused. “My Diamond saw fit to prepare supplies you might have interest in. It includes food. If you so desired.”

“I ... I guess.” Steven frowned. He honestly hadn’t realized how hungry he was until moments ago. He didn’t even want to think about food with how worried he was about Connie and the Gems. It made him feel sick just thinking about it. But he supposed he _had_ to eat. He wasn’t quite sure how long he’d been in the tower. It had definitely been over a full day, but the lack of Earth sunlight distorted his perception of time. He supposed it had been two days, maybe more?

He sighed.

“What kind of food do you have?” Steven said.

White smiled. Her Gem began to glow and, in one smooth motion, she reached in and pulled out a large purple fruit with an odd, geometric shape. She took a knee and held it forward, presenting it to Steven.

“Your food, Steven,” she said.

“Thanks ...” Steven took the fruit. “It looks like the fruit from Pink Diamond’s Zoo.”

“They are indeed from your Zoo, Steven.”

“Oh ...” Steven shook his head. “Huh ... I guess I hadn’t thought of that. It is mine, huh?” Steven took a small bite of the fruit. An odd flavor resembling apples, grapes, and oranges blended together entered his mouth. “Does that mean I could close it and release all the humans?”

“Of course, Steven. You’re a Diamond. You can do whatever you desire.”

Steven brightened up. “Really?! _Can you take me there now, then_?!”

White Pearl opened her mouth, then closed it.

“My apologies, Steven,” she said. “You are a Diamond but my orders prevent me from allowing you to leave.”

Steven frowned.

“So I really am a prisoner,” Steven said. He narrowed his eyes. “Guess I should be used to that by now.”

“You’re not a prisoner, Steven. You simply ... can’t leave. For the moment.”

Steven lowered his eyebrows. “Uh ... no offense, but that’s what being a prisoner _is_.”

White Pearl’s eye twitched.

“I ... wouldn’t use such harsh language to categorize it,” White Pearl said. “My Diamond wouldn’t approve.”

“ _Who cares what she approves of_?!” Steven flung his arms out, splattering juice from his fruit everywhere. White Pearl flinched slightly. “She’s the one keeping me here! And the one who's taken my friends who knows where and ...” Steven squinted his eyes shut, feeling moisture. “What is even the point of this?! What is she planning on doing with me?! Is she gonna shatter me or does she intend to just keep me here forever or what?!”

“I--”

“And the worst part is I can’t even really be mad at her because this is _all my fault_!” Steven couldn’t stop himself. He flung the fruit to the ground and felt tear rush from him.

White Pearl’s eye lingered on the fruit, only to shift back to Steven. She brow furrowed, as if unable to process what was happening.

“I came here to try and help the corrupted Gems!” Steven went on, his voice cracking. “And all I accomplished was getting my friends captured or killed or who knows what! And now I’m locked in a tower and White clearly doesn’t want me to ever leave and the corrupted Gems will never get helped and _I’m gonna die here, aren’t I?!_ ”

White Pearl only stared. Steven huddled into the corner, burying his hands in his face. He tried to choke down the sobs, but stifled sniffles still escaped.

When he peeked up, he could see White Pearl. Her mouth was twitching. For a moment, her hand moved, looking as if she would reach out and touch him.

But she never did. Her hand lowered.

Steven pulled the neck of his shirt up and blew his nose into it. He wiped his eyes. He knew they must look red.

“I’m sorry, Pearl,” he said, sniffing. “I didn’t mean to yell.”

“No ... apologies necessary, Steven,” White Pearl said. Her hands were at her side, shaking ever so slightly. “Perhaps my response was not ... developed enough. I didn’t mean to imply you were wrong in using aggressive language. I was simply stating I myself would refrain from it, considering My Diamond’s ... abilities.”

Steven moved his hands from his face.

“What abilities?” Steven said.

“My Diamond is able to ... _perceive_ differently than other Gems. Or even the other Diamonds. She is able to see through hard light illusions to see Gems for the mere Gemstone they are. And sometimes she is able to ...” White Pearl hesitated. “Sense the thoughts of lesser Gems.” Her eye glanced toward the wall. “Even when they aren’t around.”

Steven blinked. “You’re saying she can read minds?”

“That is not an inaccurate term,” White Pearl said. “Therefore I was cautioning you that my ... preference to keep my expressions pleasant was by no means an effort to criticize you.”

“So you never think bad things about--”

White Pearl said nothing, but her eye went wide. Steven stopped, then shook his head.

“Uh ... n-nevermind,” Steven said.

_She must really be afraid she’s listening ... like all the time_ , Steven thought.

Steven ran a hand through his hair.

“I just wish I knew what the point of all this was ...” Steven said.

White Pearl glanced around, then cleared her throat.

“Would it be in your interest to ... order me to make a suggestion?” White Pearl said.

Steven leaned towards her with interest.

“I ... I guess ...” he said, hesitantly.

“Of course, Steven.” White Pearl spoke in hushed tones. “While I may be prevented from giving you the information you require, there is nothing preventing you from at least requesting an audience with White Diamond to ask personally.”

Steven’s mouth gaped.

“But I thought I couldn’t leave!” he said. “How can I ask?”

“I doubt you will have need to,” White Pearl said. “As I’ve said, White Diamond’s perception will likely allow her to sense your desires, so long as they are worthy of her attention.”

“How will I even know she’s paying attention to me to know that?”

White Pearl blinked, then shook her head, almost in disbelief.

“... you are Pink Diamond,” White Pearl said.

“Oh ... right.” He shook his head. “I mean I’m really not but ... I suppose it’s all the same to her.”

“A likely hypothesis, Steven.”

“Okay ...” Steven sighed. “Well.” He stared up at top of the tower, dotted with pink bubbles along its impossible length. “White Diamond, if you’re listening, I want to talk to you. I feel like you owe me that much!”

Steven looked up. He closed his eyes, his shoulders tensed up ...

But nothing happened.

He opened his eyes and exhaled. He looked to White Pearl.

“So now what do I--”

Before Steven could finish, a white bubble encased him. In the split second he could still see the White Pearl, her mouth gaped.

“Pearl!” Steven shouted back, the bubble making his voice sound like it was inside a tin can.

He felt the earth move beneath him. He felt something bump against the bubble outside, but the movement didn’t stop or even slow.

“ _Steven_!” he heard White Pearl shout, just barely.

Steven felt a chill down his spine.

For just a moment, he could have almost sworn White Pearl sounded like _Pearl_ , the one he always knew.

The bubble he was in seemed to move faster and faster. He was unsure of the direction he was going. At first, he felt like he was going up, but then the bubble darted all around. He suddenly felt ill, like he had on the Teacup Ride at Funland so long ago.

Finally, after an unpleasant half-minute of nausea washing over him, he saw the walls of the bubble disappear ...

He was blinded by a bright white light. He felt heat radiate on his face, feeling as if he was inside a microwave. As his eyes tried to adjust, he heard the voice.

For a moment, he thought it was White Pearl, since the voice sounded so similar. But the shiver that ran down the back of his neck said otherwise.

“ _Starlight_.” the voice said.

Still blinded, he felt himself rise in the air, the collar of his shirt pulling against his throat. It took him a moment to realize he was being plucked up by the back of his shirt.

He squinted his watering eyes, finally able to make out the massive black lashes and lips of White Diamond.

The pulling of his collar stopped. He felt the ground pulse beneath him. He looked down and saw he was being held in the palm of White Diamond’s massive hand.

White Diamond grinned and Steven realized how uncomfortably close to her teeth he was.

“Pink, I am happy you desired to see me,” White Diamond said, her voice echoing through the massive chamber they were in. She pulled her palm close to her face. “I _so_ missed our talks ...”

Her voice lowered slightly, but that was enough to make Steven start to shake.

“What would you like to speak to me about, Starlight?” she said.


	4. The Lion's Den

“Something wrong, Pink?” White Diamond said after a moment. “You’re tense ...”

Steven grimaced, shuffling his feet on White Diamond’s massive hand, uncomfortably aware how easy it would be for her to just squeeze her palm shut the moment Steven said something objectionable.

“I--I’m not tense,” Steven said.

White Diamond let out a “Ha!” The breath hit Steven, nearly pushing him back.

“Oh Starlight ...” White Diamond raised her other hand. Steven squinted his eyes shut. His heart jolted. He was certain this would be it for him ...

But all he felt was a bop against his nose. He opened his eyes to see White Diamond’s nail pressing against his nose. She chuckled.

“It’s so _adorable_ how you still think you can hide. Things. From. Me.” Each period was punctuated by another gentle bop from White Diamond’s nail. She smiled as she lowered her free hand. “Things haven’t changed as much as you believe they have, Pink.”

“I uh ... I kinda go by Steven now so--”

“Anyway,” interrupted White Diamond, “would you like to ask about leaving or would you prefer to speak of something else first?”

Steven felt sweat drip down his forehead.

“You ... you know about--” He stopped himself. The revelation from Pearl that White Diamond could read minds was still fresh in his thoughts. He nodded. “Right. Of _course_ you do.”

“ _There’s the bright little Starlight I remember!_ ” White Diamond closed her eyes and beamed at Steven.

It made a pit form deep in Steven’s stomach.

“I ...” Steven closed his eyes. He tightened his hands into fists.

_You can do this,_ he thought. _You’re basically a Diamond to her. As far as she cares, you’re Mom. She’ll listen. She_ has _to._

Steven opened his eyes, his eyebrows straight. He put on his best “stern” face, trying desperately to ignore the feeling of his knees shaking.

“ _White_ , I want to know why you won’t let me leave,” Steven said as firm as he could manage. In truth, it came out a little more strangled-sounding than he would have liked. “Aren’t I supposed to be a Diamond?”

White Diamond rose her other hand and laid her head on her cheek. She had a smile as if Steven was a baby that had done something especially cute.

“Of course you are, Pink,” White Diamond said.

“Then why am I a prisoner?!”

“Oh ... you shouldn’t use such language.” She shook her head, still grinning. “You must know how that upsets my poor Pearl.”

The hairs on the back of Steven’s neck stood up.

“... you really were reading our minds during all that ...”

“Sensing Pearl’s, specifically. I have to keep an eye on both of you. You both mean _so much_ to me.” She looked Steven in his eyes. “After all, that’s the reason why you’re in the tower to begin with.” White Diamond brought her palm, and by extension Steven, yet closer to her. “Because I love you.”

The last sentence sounded like the exact opposite of comfort to Steven. He glared.

“Locking me away forever doesn’t seem like love!” Steven said. “I want to leave. I want to see Connie and the Gems!”

White Diamond straightened her neck, lowering her other hand to her side.

“And you will!” White Diamond said. The tone of her voice made Steven feel like he was being talked down to. “You will. All in due time. I assure you they are quite safe. Of course I wouldn’t dream of locking you away _forever_.” She chuckled. “That would be _wrong_. But Starlight ... you must try to see things from _my_ perspective.” She gestured to her chest with her free hand. “I give you life, you pester Yellow for a colony which we all allow ... and what do you do, hm? You put on such an _elaborate_ display and made Yellow and Blue believe you were shattered for so long while you ... _galavanted_ around with your friends.” White Diamond tisked, shaking her head slowly. “Hurtful. That was hurtful, Starlight.”

Steven gritted his teeth. He felt his face get hot.

“I am so _sick_ of going over this ...” Without meaning to, he shouted. “ _That was my mom! **I am not my mom!**_ ”

“Oh, Starlight...” White Diamond’s eyes were fixed on Steven’s stomach. It almost seemed as if she was looking through him. “ _We both know you’re not as certain of that as you claim to be._ ”

Steven shivered. She knew he had been afraid of that? Even the _Gems_ didn’t know that. Steven hadn’t even been consciously thinking of that at the time ...

If she could read thoughts he wasn’t even having on the surface at the time, Steven shuddered to think about what else she knew.

“So ...” White Diamond’s flicked back to Steven’s face. “Of course nothing in this universe would make me happier than for you to get back to being the Diamond you were meant to be.” Her voice became slightly firmer. “But it simply wouldn’t be fair to Yellow and Blue if there wasn’t _some_ type of punishment. And the best thing to do, I thought... was to allow you to sit in your tower and think about what you’ve done, for a brief period, and then we go back to the matters at hand.”

Steven blinked.

“You’re ... put me in time out?”

White Diamond chuckled.

“A human term? Cute. And appropriate.”

“Well ...” Steven relaxed his shoulders. “I ... I guess I see what you’re saying. That’s ...” Steven let out a nervous laugh. “Wow, for a minute I was really worried.”

“See, Starlight?” She waggled her head as her smile showed off her teeth. “You shouldn’t always assume the worst of me.”

“Heh ... o-okay,” Steven said. “I guess that’s pretty fair. Um ... so how long do I have to say in time out?”

“Not long at all.” White Diamond closed her eyes. “Simply the length of time you were gone. 5,752 years.”

Steven’s eyes went wide.

“ _WHAT_?!” he shouted.

“Come now, Starlight. _It’s only fair_.”

“But-- but--” Steven clutched at his hair. “But you said I’d be able to see my friends!”

“Yes. You will. _After_ 5,752 years.”

“ _I can’t wait that long!_ ”

For the first time, White Diamond’s smile dropped. Her eyes popped open. While her eyes were intimidating when she was smiling, when she wasn’t, it reminded Steven of a predator stalking its food in a harsh desert. Steven gulped.

“... would you like to explain this sudden _impatience_ , Pink?” she said coldly.

“I--” Steven struggled to find his voice for a moment. “Okay. Okay ... well, there’s a lot of reasons. The most important one being _Connie won’t even live that long_!”

White Diamond held up her other arm, splaying her hand as if signalling to stop.

“You need not worry about your pet human. I’ve ensured she’s well taken care of.”

“ _Pet hu_ \--” Steven’s eyes flared with anger. “ _She’s my best friend!_ And what do you mean ‘taken care of’?!”

“As I said, all your friends are safe, including her.” She waved her free hand. “She’ll live a full life in your Zoo.”

“ _THE ZOO_ , WHA--”

White Diamond spoke over him. Despite not raising her voice, her tone seemed to insist itself over his.

“She’ll be happy, grow up, have children optimized for healthy life and genetic diversity, and when she reaches the natural end of her lifespan, her remains will be well-preserved for you to see as much as you want after your time out.”

“I MEANT I WANTED TO SEE HER WHILE SHE WAS _STILL ALIVE_! And she has a life on Earth and a family and _she wouldn’t want this_!”

White Diamond glared.

“ _Then perhaps you should have thought of such things before your little **escapade**_!” she snapped with so much force the words seemed to sting.

It made made Steven recoil. He stumbled backwards, his back crashing against her palm..

White’s glare lingered over him for a minute, eventually closing her eyes. She let out a long sigh. When she opened her eyes, she immediately popped into the pleasant smile she had before.

“Forgive me, Starlight,” White Diamond said. “I don’t blame you. After all, that human has clearly been giving you such _distracting_ thoughts.”

Steven blushed, but said nothing. In fact, he had a hard time even getting to his feet.

“But no matter,” White Diamond said. “You’ll see. This will all be for the best.” She waved her free hand again. “And all your other friends will still be intact and well, you have my personal guarantee of that. It’s just as well. It will give them time to settle into their roles quite nicely.”

“What ... what’s that supposed to mean?”

White Diamond leaned her head back and laughed.

“Well, it would be unfair if I were to simply bubble them for that long,” she said. “I’ve made sure there’s a place for all of them.” Her eyelids lowered. “The _correct_ places.”

Steven felt a jolt of fear. If that meant what he thought it meant ... if that meant Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl were put in the roles they were supposed to have on Homeworld, that was not good.

Maybe Amethyst would be fine, but Garnet? Garnet wasn’t even supposed to exist! What if she got seperated? Or worse.

Oh gosh.

What about _Pearl_?

He thought of White Pearl, how unhappy she was. The thought of Pearl in that same role ...

He rose to his feet, fists clenched.

“Where are they, White?!” Steven shouted.

“I feel it would be best if we speak of that after your time out.”

“ _Tell me_!”

White narrowed her eyes. She lowered the palm Steven was standing on until she was looming over him.

“I said ... _no_ ,” she said firmly. She closed her eyes for a few uncomfortable seconds, before opening them, breaking into that same pleasant smile. Her demeanor seemed devoid of anger after that, even if her polite tone seemed forced. “You’ll see, Pink. You’ll feel so much better after you’ve had time to think. And the best thing is that it will give you time to transition out of ...” The middle finger of White’s palm brushed against Steven’s back, causing him to jerk around. “Well, out of all this.”

“Out of what?”

“All of this ... _Earth matter_ around your Gem,” White Diamond said. “It’s clearly confusing you. I suppose there are ways of getting it off faster ...”

She paused, just long enough for Steven to go pale. But then White chuckled in her throat.

“But I feel it’s much more comfortable for you if we just let it ... run its course, as it were,” White Diamond said.

“But--”

“Well, this has been a lovely chat.” White Diamond tilted her head and grinned. “But I think it would be best now if you go back to your tower. After all, the sooner you get in time out, the sooner you can come out.”

“ _But--_ ”

“Oh, and feel free to continue borrowing my Pearl. You _both_ seem quite attached. Don’t worry about me.” She put a finger to her lips and shook her head. “I’m sure I’ll manage without her _somehow_.”

Steven opened his mouth to shout but before he did, a white bubble formed around his feet and encase around him.

From outside the bubble, right before it took off into the air, he heard White Diamond one last time.

“Just remember, _I’m only doing this because I love you_.”

* * *

After what seemed like minutes of darting around, the bubble finally opened.

He was back in the tower. Of course, White Pearl was still there. She was sitting on the floor, legs sprawled down, with her head hung down. A moment later, her head snapped up when she saw Steven.

“ _Steven_!” she said, more emotion in her voice than Steven had ever heard from her before. “You’re back.”

Steven took a step. He felt numb. His chest felt empty. He felt like he would have been sick, if there had only been enough in his stomach to puke out.

White Pearl got to her feet.

“Steven?” Her eye went wide. “You seem troubled. Are you--”

Before he could even stop himself, he ran up and hugged White Pearl. Tears flowed from his eyes and he pressed his face against her midsection.

“ _She wouldn’t even listen to me!_ ” Steven sobbed, muffled by White Pearl’s clothes. “She didn’t care at all! She’s just going to make me stay here until I die and my mom comes back. And Connie will be dead too and I don’t even know what’s going on with the others--”

To Steven’s surprise, he felt a gentle hand on the back of his head.

“It’s alright,” White Pearl said.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. This is all my fault.”

“It’s not.” White Pearl hesitated. “That wouldn’t be a ... logical conclusion. It’s not your fault.”

“She’s so _awful_!”

White Pearl’s hand felt tense.

“I ... can understand why you might have that opinion,” she said carefully.

Steven sniffled. Gently, White Pearl guided them both to a sitting position. She continued to ruffle his head.

“It’s alright, My Diamond,” White Pearl said. “It’s alright.”

Steven sniffled.

“I’m not your Diamond, Pearl,” he strangled out. “I’m just Steven.”

White Pearl took her hand from Steven’s head for a moment.

“I ...” A moment later, she put her hand back on him. “Yes. Of course. I was simply ... confused for a moment. That’s all.”

Steven laid with his face pressed against her for a long time. He cried until his eyes felt red and dry.

Eventually, his thoughts drifted back to Connie, how she must feel in the Zoo right now, lightyears from home. He imagined what horrible situations the others might be in. He didn’t even _know_ what they could be going through.

But he knew one thing: he wasn’t going to wait over five thousand years to find out.

“Pearl?”

“Yes, My-- yes, Steven?”

“I’m going to break out of here.”

White Pearl continued to comfort him, but said nothing. When he glanced up, he could see her eye staring out blankly.

He didn’t want to upset her, so, for now, he didn’t say anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: next chapter will have a "physical and emotional abuse" trigger warning. While there won't be any graphic violence, what is planned to be in it is purposely unsettling enough that I feel like it'll be necessary and I wanted to give those of you who might have need of that warning an advance notice.


	5. Thoughtcrime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning: Physical and emotional abuse.**
> 
>  
> 
> This is probably the most unsettling this fic will ever get. There is no graphic violence, but what is there is purposely uncomfortable enough that I feel this was necessary.

White Pearl looked down at Steven, sleeping on the floor. He had spent a long time crying before he simply hugged White Pearl in silence. Sometime after that, he slept.

White Pearl had learned what sleep was prior to tending to Steven. It was a curious process. Having a period of time where one could just lie still with eyes closed, unconscious to the world, where nothing was expected of them ...

It was fascinating. And seeing Steven do so, after his outburst earlier, was relieving.

She laid a hand on his head and ruffled his hair.

For reasons White Pearl couldn’t put into words, she found comfort in seeing Steven lie peacefully. Maybe it was simply good to see Her Diamond relax or--

She blinked.

No. Steven wasn’t Her Diamond. She got up, shaking he head. No, that was wrong. Why did she keep thinking that? It made no sense. It--

As if in response, a white bubble started to form around her feet, just like the one that took Steven earlier.

White Pearl felt a sinking feeling in her Gem. The bubble was definitely not one of her own; like phasing through solid matter, the white bubbles were a power gifted to her. So if she didn’t make it, there was only one other being who _could_.

White Pearl unconsciously touched the empty spot on her face where her Gem used to be. Her hand was shaking.

Despite herself, she tried to run out of the bubble, ignoring the obvious consequences that would come later. But to no avail. The bubble sped up its formation in response.

In moments, White Pearl felt herself whisked into the air. The path of the bubble seemed fast and direct, devoid of any theatrics.

_She’s mad_ , White Pearl thought.

Just as the notion occurred to her, White Pearl’s bubble rocked violently, as if it had crashed into something. She fell to the ground. A moment later, the walls of the bubble disappeared and she was hit by a bright light.

It didn’t take long for White Pearl’s eye to adjust. She instantly recognized in the main chamber of White Diamond’s massive ship. She looked forward and saw the elegant shoes of White Diamond, right where she knew they would be. White Pearl was at her feet, as always. She craned her neck upward to see White Diamond herself towering above her.

She was staring down at White Pearl, her eyes narrow.

White Pearl said nothing. They caught eyes for a moment before White Diamond smiled.

“ _Having fun, Pearl_?” White Diamond said quietly, but not _gently_.

White Pearl opened her mouth. She tried her best to steady her voice, so that the quivering wasn’t noticeable in it. White Diamond detested such shows of emotion from her.

“I ... am enjoying my current task, My Diamond,” White Pearl said.

“ _Are you?_ ” White Diamond nodded. “I see.” She glared down. “Pearl, I don’t recall ordering you to relax on the floor.”

White Pearl’s eye went wide as she felt a jolt of fear.

She wasn’t in her standard formation. She’d gotten too used to relaxing around Steven.

Immediately, White Pearl scrambled to her feet. She brought her heels together and raised her hands. She closed her eye for a moment to focus on levitating. She opened her eye a moment after and forced a smile. It made her cheeks hurt.

“My apologies, My Diamond,” White Pearl said, hoping against hope her voice was devoid of any fear. “I ... forgot myself.”

“Yes ... yes, that’s the problem, I think, isn’t it?”

White Diamond reached down, extending her index finger. She brushed it under Pearl’s chin.

White Pearl’s legs screamed at her to run away, but she didn’t dare risk moving, or even dropping her smile.

“You seem to be forgetting a lot of things, aren’t you?” White Diamond said, carefully placing her nail against Pearl’s neck. “ _Like who your Diamond is.”_

White Diamond jerked her hand back. White Pearl felt a sharp pain as her Diamond’s nail scratched against her throat. Unconsciously, she moved her hand to her neck. She realized her mistake right away, looking up at White Diamond’s face, filled with disgust.

“Did you think I couldn’t hear the unflattering thoughts you’ve been thinking of me lately?” White Diamond spat out.

“I haven’t--”

“ _Silence_.”

White Pearl’s mouth clamped shut. She wanted to talk, but it was no matter.

Her Diamond ordered her silent, so she was silent.

White Diamond crossed her arms.

“And when _exactly_ were you going to mention Pink’s thoughts of escaping? _Or were you hoping I wouldn’t find out_?”

White Pearl looked up, but she could say nothing in response. Her mouth would not open. White Diamond sneared.

“Well? _Answer me_.”

White Pearl’s jaw relaxed so she could speak.

“You ... you hadn’t asked so--”

“ _Excuses_. Excuses! After all I’ve done for you!” White Diamond’s hand curled into a fist. Her eyes, never warm before, were now devoid of anything even resembling mercy. “I think perhaps you need a lesson in gratitude.”

White Pearl, without meaning to, let fear slip into her voice.

“ _No, please!_ I--”

“ _Feel pain_.”

As if a switched had been flipped, White Pearl felt an intense pain in the cracks on her face, as well as the Gem on her stomach. White Pearl tried to hold her position, but she only lasted a second before her hands covered both areas. They didn’t just hurt; they felt like there were on _fire_.

Her knees buckled under her. Rubbing the hurt areas, clutching at them, nothing provided any relief. But then, why would it?

Her Diamond had ordered her to feel pain. So she did.

White Pearl tried to get back up to her feet, but she kept slipping, the pain making her weak.

Her ears were ringing from the intense agony that it was only then White Pearl realized she’d been screaming.

White Diamond sighed.

“ _Quieter_ , Pearl, I want to make sure you listen,” White Diamond said casually, almost bored.

White Pearl pursed her lips together, grunting on the floor as she felt tears well in her eye. It hurt so badly, and as time went on, it didn’t lessen even slightly in its intensity. Even the inside of her eyelid looked _red_ to her when she shut her eye. She would have done _anything_ to make it stop.

“Now, remind me again, _who’s your Diamond_?” White Diamond said, perking up.

“ _Y-you_ ,” White Pearl managed to choke out. She clenched her teeth together, so hard her gums hurt.

“ _Good_!” Her words were cheery, despite White Pearl’s situation. “With all your thoughts of Pink, I was worried you had forgotten! I’m happy that’s not the case. You simply got too attached, is that it?”

“Y-yes ...”

“Sorry, can’t hear you.”

“ _Yes_!” White Pearl said, her voice cracking in pain.

“Well, we can fix that easily enough, can’t we?” White Diamond raised her voice. “Pearl, _stop feeling those emotions_.”

Amidst the pain, White Pearl couldn’t immediately notice a dramatic change. But somewhere, in her Gem, she felt some of the ... confusing attachment she had to Steven seem to numb. She remembered everything about what had happened, but some of the odd feelings attached seemed to drift away ...

She only then seemed to remember that she was only with him because she was ordered to.

Despite White Pearl not saying anything aside from grunts of pain, White Diamond seemed satisfied by that wayward thought.

“Very good,” White Diamond said. White Pearl creaked her head upward to see White Diamond wave her hand. “You may stop feeling pain.”

And just like that, all pain melted away. White Pearl touched the cracks in her face, as always, unable to believe pain so intense left no lasting damage. She touched her Gem. She allowed herself a sigh of relief before she brought her feet together and levitated.

And of course, she had to make herself smile.

“Forgive me, My Diamond,” White Pearl said. “I was ... confused.”

“ _I know_.” White Diamond laid her hand on her cheek and stared at White Pearl with half lidded eyes. She frowned. “Why do you make me do these things, Pearl? Do you think I like it? You know I only want you to be the best Pearl you can be, and you do things that necessitate such _measures_. It’s quite upsetting. I think I deserve an apology.”

White Pearl hesitated for a moment.

“I’m ... sorry,” White Pearl said.

White Diamond giggled.

“Well, I suppose that will have to do, won’t it?” White Diamond said. “Discipline is so hard. If only it was as easy to correct my Starlight as it was to correct you, Pearl.” She suddenly seemed wistful. If someone walked in now, they never would have been able to tell White Diamond was furious moments before.

“I ... suppose that’s a shame, My Diamond,” White Pearl wasn’t sure of the reason for her hesitation. She no longer felt a complex attachment to Steven. After all, White Pearl was only taking care of him according to her Diamond’s whim. Still, the very idea of White Diamond using the methods she just used on Steven was ... less than ideal.

White Diamond sighed.

“If I’m honest, that may be the reason I’m in one of my _moods_ ,” White Diamond said. “The audacity that she would think she could escape ...” Her massive brow furrowed. “You would think that eventually my Starlight would consider the lesson behind her punishments.” Her voice turned sour. “But it seems that even distorting the forms of all of her little friends and letting her contemplate the pain _she_ inflicted on them was too subtle for her. It’s like she’s learned nothing in five thousand years!”

She scowled.

“I suppose the only thing she will understand is these little games she insists on playing. So _annoying_. But if that’s how she insists on being, fine.” A smile, one more devious, formed on White Diamond’s face. “ _I can play too_. Pearl?”

“Yes, My Diamond?”

“Pink Diamond wants to escape her tower.” White Diamond shrugged. “Then fine. Your instructions are to assist her.”

White Pearl blinked.

“I’m ... I’m afraid I don’t understand, My Diamond,” she said.

“If Starlight insists her friends are _so much more important_ than doing what I ask of her, then let her see the state they’re in _now_ ,” White Diamond rested her hand on her chin. “With the arrangements I’ve made, I think that will be very _interesting_ to see. And it won’t take long before she realizes the only way to get the things she wants is to actually listen to her betters.”

White Diamond narrowed her eyes.

“And if she _does_ somehow manage to bring her friends along with her, and she _actually_ tries to run back to Earth, then at the very last second, you are instructed to destroy that _ridiculous_ organic shell Starlight insists in hiding behind. And I want her to know _I’m_ the one who ordered it. If nothing else, _I’m fairly certain that’ll get my point across_.”

White Pearl opened her mouth but said nothing.

White Diamond grinned, looking almost giddy.

“Thoughts, Pearl?” she asked.

“I ... I’m not certain how to fight.”

White Diamond’s smile dropped and she glared.

“If it comes to it, you will destroy that Earth junk around her or get shattered trying. _Is that clear_?”

White Pearl nodded.

“Of course, My Diamond,” White Pearl said, her voice an octave lower than normal. As if she had any other choice.

Her Diamond ordered it, so she had to do it.

White Diamond beamed at White Pearl.

“Good ...” She reached down and gently stroked her index finger on White Pearl’s head. “That’s the perfect Pearl I expect.”

White Pearl’s eye remained fixed on the floor as she tried her best not to wince as White Diamond brushed her hair with her finger. Not that she would think anything ... _unpleasant_ about her Diamond’s intentions or anything ...

“I’m sure you’ll perform admirably,” White Diamond continued. “And I doubt your intervention will even be necessary. I think Starlight will get the picture soon enough on her own. You’ll do just fine.” White Diamond smiled and glanced upwards. “I can only hope the new Pearl performs half as well as you in your absence.”

White Pearl’s eye flicked up to White Diamond

“... pardon?” White Pearl said.

White Diamond laughed in her throat.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” White Diamond said. “While you’re busy with your current objective, I’ll be having another Pearl filling in for you.” She raised her voice. “Come on, Pearl, don’t be shy.”

White Pearl heard footsteps. She looked towards White Diamond’s massive shoes ...

And from behind them emerged a Pearl with her gem on her forehead. Her skin was pale whitish-grey, not unlike that of White Pearl herself (a side-effect of White Diamond’s “gifts,” more than likely). Her clothing was a dull navy blue, with a sash of identical color trailing at her waist. She said nothing, her eyes wide in shock.

White Pearl had just seen her in person a few days before; even though her colors were different, she recognized her immediately.

“Pink Diamond’s Pearl ...” White Pearl whispered.

“Well, she _was_ ,” White Diamond said. “But since Starlight doesn’t take proper care of her things, I’m taking that little gift back. Say hello, Pearl.”

Pink Diamond’s Pearl remained silent, a haunted look in her eyes.

“Something wrong?” White Diamond put a finger to her lip. “Oh, I see.” White Diamond’s eyes fell back on White Pearl. “I suppose our little _tiff_ upset her. No matter.” White Diamond raised her voice and looked back to the other Pearl. “Pearl, _forget what you just saw_.”

The Pink Pearl’s eyes flickered, appearing to roll back in her head. White Pearl, while trying to maintain her position, had to consciously stop herself from bringing her hand to her mouth. A moment later, she blinked. Pink Diamond’s Pearl broke into a wide smile and looked up at White Diamond.

“What do you need from me, My Diamond?” the Pearl said.

“Nothing at the moment. Thank you.” White Diamond flicked her eyes back to White Pearl. “I’m sure she’ll do an adequate enough job. She has a history of being quite _capable_. Oh, and needless to say, don’t mention anything of this meeting to Starlight. Her punishment would lose a bit of its impact otherwise, don’t you think?”

“I ...” White Pearl gulped. “Of course, My Diamond.”

“Well!” White Diamond clapped her hands together with so much force it sounded like a starship taking off. “I suppose I should let you get back to work. You keep an eye on Starlight now. We’ll get her back on track soon enough, you and I.”

White Pearl supposed she should have said something in response ... but no longer feeling compelled by any special attachment to Steven or his situation, she found herself unwilling to.

Uncomfortably, she found her eyes resting on Pink Diamond’s Pearl. Even though she was smiling now, she couldn’t get that haunted look out of her head.

If White Diamond noticed or cared, she didn’t say so before the bubble formed around White Pearl’s feet.

* * *

A few minutes later, the bubble disappeared as it dropped White Pearl back at the tower.

Steven was still asleep, oblivious to everything that had happened.

White Pearl stared at him. She no longer felt the desire to sit by him and ruffle his hair as she had before. She supposed that was good. It meant White Diamond’s order was effective and it would prevent any further ... unpleasantness.

Still, she stared at him from across the room. She allowed herself to relax from the position White Diamond preferred.

White Pearl’s mind was a blank, save for one of the orders of White Diamond echoing in her head.

_You will destroy that Earth junk around her or get shattered trying._

It wouldn’t come to that, White Pearl thought. White Diamond’s ... _craftiness_ knew no equal. Whatever she had planned would be sufficient in deterring Steven. Even just seeing the fate of the Pearl seemed enough.

_It would never come to that_ , she told herself. Not that it mattered to her either way ...

Still, the words echoed in her head throughout the night.


	6. Escape

When Steven woke up, he saw White Pearl standing across the room. Her eye flicked to him as he woke, a polite smile on her face.

“Hello Steven,” she said politely. “Did you sleep well?”

Steven yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m good,” he said. Within moments, the memories of last night came rushing back. The meeting with White Diamond, everything she said about Connie and ... waiting for him to die, and White Pearl comforting him.

He shook his head and rubbed his temple.

“Pearl I’m ... I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Steven mumbled. “I ... I didn’t mean to just cry on you like that.”

White Pearl’s smile didn’t falter.

“Not at all, Steven,” Pearl said. “It’s my responsibility to look after you.”

Steven felt a frown creep on his face. Something about White Pearl seemed ... off. She had sounded stilted before, but, last night, she had seemed warmer to him and showed more emotion. The sad yell when Steven was put in the white bubble was at the forefront of his mind. And when he returned, she held him, calmed him. She wasn’t acting mean now or anything but she acted ... different, as if they were more distant.

“Um ... Pearl?” Steven took a step towards her. “Are you sure it’s okay? I didn’t do anything to upset you, did I?”

White Pearl’s smile fell.

“What?” White Pearl said. She shook her head. “No Steven, you ...” As if realizing she’d shown emotion, she leaned back and took a breath, steadying her voice.  “Steven, you’ve done nothing wrong. Having you blame yourself is ... is not something I would desire.”

Steven gave a weak smile.

“Okay,” he said. “Well ... if you need to talk about anything, just let me know.”

White Pearl’s smile did not return. Her mouth twitched.

“Your concern is ... _appreciated_ , Steven,” she said.

Steven nodded. White Pearl still seemed troubled, but he didn’t want to press her. After all, expressing herself was probably new to her, just like Peridot when Steven first met her. Maybe it was a little naive for Steven to think her actions yesterday meant a dramatic change. He needed to be more understanding.

Besides, he had other things to think about.

“Alright ...” Steven said. “I was hoping White Diamond would help with the corrupted Gems, but it's clear now _that’s_ not gonna happen, at least not right now. Maybe if I find Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond again they can help convince her but ...” He shook his head. “But I’ll figure that out later. Right now, I need to think of a way to escape, get out of here and save Connie and the Gems ....” He grimaced then scratched behind his head. “But ... ooh, but White Diamond reads minds so I need to think of a way without _actually_ thinking too hard.”

White Pearl raised one hand. “Steven, I--”

“Okay, okay, I’ll just think with my gut,” Steven said, his mind cluttered and racing. “Uhhhh _, okay I got it_! _I’ll break the wall down!_ ”

Without wasting another moment, Steven ran towards the wall, bent at the waist with his head pointed forward. His head collided against the wall.

It was at this point Steven found out the walls were made of _very_ hard metal, which Steven had time to think of when he saw stars after flopping on the floor. Through blurry eyes, he could see a small dent in the wall, but not much else.

White Pearl rushed over, looking down at him. Her eye blinked in disbelief.

“... I was going to say, Steven, that I still have the gifted ability to create white bubbles and phase through walls. Both of which could prove useful in any escape.”

“... _awesome_...” Steven said, reaching his hand up and giving a thumbs up. His head throbbed. “... is it okay if I just ... lie here for a second?”

“Of course, Steven.”

“Kay ...” Steven groaned on the floor, rubbing his head. Clearly not thinking ahead at all wasn’t going to work. It was a shame; he felt it used to come so naturally to him. Like when he made Frybo alive, or when he traded Onion the Replicator Wand, or when he shapeshifted a bunch of cat fingers and became a horrible abomination ...

_... Okay, maybe ‘not thinking’ was always a bad idea after all,_ Steve thought as he grunted and got to his feet.

“Okay ... we’ll try it your way, Pearl. That--” Steven’s eyes went wide. “Hey, wait a minute ... you’re just gonna _help me escape_?!”

White Pearl furrowed her brow.

“Well ... yes,” White Pearl said. “Do you wish me not to?”

“No no, I do, it’s just ...” Steven shook his head. “I mean, won’t you get in _trouble_?! I’ve met White Diamond. I know what she’s like!”

“I--” White Pearl’s eye twitched. She paused, then started speaking slowly. “That’s ... not important.”

“Yes, it is! I don’t want you to help if you’re going to hurt!”

White Pearl squinted, her mouth agape. “Are you ordering me to _not_ help you?”

“I ...” Steven winced then sighed. “If I _have_ to, I will.”

“You ...” White Pearl’s eye twitched again. She clutched her hair buns with both hands and took a step back.

“Pearl?” Steven said, a bit strangled.

White Pearl’s head shot up, her eye glaring at him.

“ _What sense does that make_?!” White Pearl shouted. “You want to leave and find your companions, and you’d make it harder on yourself just because _I_ might get in trouble? There’s no rhyme or reason to any of your actions! _I’m just a Pearl!_ ”

“No, you’re not! _You’re my friend_!”

White Pearl blinked. “What?”

“You’re my friend.” Steven put his hand to his chest. “You’re the only one I have around right now, actually. You’ve helped me so much when you didn’t need to. And ... and I think I know why you suddenly want to help me escape ...”

White Pearl stiffened. “You do?” she whispered.

“Yeah ...” Steven smiled. “You think of me as your friend too, right?”

“I ...” White Pearl’s eye drifted to the floor, as if unable to look Steven in the eye. Steven thought she must have been embarrassed. “That’s ... not the reason ...”

“You don’t have to be shy about it,” Steven chuckled. “It’s a good thing.”

“No, that’s not--” White Pearl’s jaw clenched shut. She tilted her head down towards the floor.

“Look, I know how White Diamond must be,” Steven said, frowning. “She’s probably like ... ordered you not to think you can have friends or something ...”

White Pearl looked up. Her mouth quivered, but she said nothing.

“But ...” Steven approached White Pearl. “But I really do think of you as a friend and I think you feel the same way. And what happens to you is important to me.” Steven reached up and wrapped his arms around White Pearl.

White Pearl felt rigid in his arms. She didn’t embrace him back.

“Steven ...” she whispered. “You shouldn’t get so attached to me ...”

“Don’t worry,” Steven said. “I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.”

“I ...” White Pearl trailed off. She froze still for a minute, then she closed her eyes.

A moment later, a white bubbled formed at Steven and White Pearl’s feet.

Steven felt the color leave his face.

“ _White Diamond!_ ” Steven shouted.

But White Pearl was unphased.

“Not this time ...” she said.

Steven looked up at White Pearl, who looked directly in his eye.

“... no Pearl, you can’t, I--”

“ _Just let me do this for you, Steven._ ” White Pearl said, raising her voice.

Steven felt a quiver in her chest. For the second time, White Pearl had said something that reminded him of Pearl (well, _Pearl_ Pearl). And the words sounded almost word for word like Lapis once as well ...

Steven couldn’t help but hope White Pearl would have a chance to meet them.

He was so shocked by her words, however, that he didn’t even have time to reply before the bubble closed over them and lifted into the air.

“Where are we going?” Steven asked when he found his voice again.

“We are going to your ship, Steven.”

“The Leg Ship? Wouldn’t that be guarded? What do we--”

“Relax, Steven. Leave that to me.”

The bubble zoomed forward and shortly after started to descend. White Pearl closed her eyes before bringing her feet together and raising her arms in the air, just as she looked when Steven first saw her.

She gave the hollow smile she wore then too. Just seeing it on her made Steven grimace; she must have had to look like that every day of her life ...

The bubble gently touched the floor and began to disappear. White Pearl levitated herself in the air.

As the bubble disappeared, Steven saw they were in a massive metal structure like a huge warehouse except filled with ships, like a spaceport. If Steven were to yell out, he felt like his echo would go on forever. Looking to his left, he could see dozens of Roaming Eyes, some of which had Peridots inspecting and pulling pieces of metal off, tinkering at them with limb enhancers.

When Steven looked in front of, he saw the Leg Ship, which dwarfed all the Roaming Eyes nearby, even while laid down sideways (butt side down).

In front of the ship were half a dozen Quartz soldiers, armed with long polearms. They were of varying colors: red, orange, purple ... Not a single one was a big as Jasper, but some were close, most of them looking about the size of the Amethysts from the Zoo.

_The Zoo ..._ Steven thought. He supposed that’s where he’d have to go first. It was the only place he knew for sure where one of his friends was, after all. And since Connie was the only one not an immortal Gem, he figured he needed to help her first.

But more importantly ... after all that had happened, he just needed his friend. He needed his Jam Bud.

In time with his thoughts, one of the larger Quartz soldiers (a red one with curly hair that looked uncomfortably like a cross between Mom and Jasper) noticed them. Her eyes went wide.

“ _Pink Diamond_!” she shouted, pointing to Steven.

Steven clenched his fist and prepared to summon his shield ...

But then, Steven saw the Quartz kneel down, her polearm planted in the floor and raised upward. The other five Quartzes, now noticing, hastily kneeled down as well.

... _okay, this is clearly going different than how I imagined_ ... Steven thought.

“You honor us with your prescience, Pink Diamond ...” the red Quartz said.

“Oh um ...” Steven stammered unsure what to say. “N-no problem. Keep on ... quartzing around ...”

White Pearl floated forward, still levitating several inches off the ground. Her voice sounded as silted and devoid of emotion as when they first met.

“Pink Diamond requires the release of her ship,” White Pearl said.

“Oh uh ...” The red Quartz’s eyes shifted back and forth. “Nothing would make me happier!” She cleared her throat. “It’s just that ... my orders came from White Diamond. She said no one was to access it without her notice.”

“She sent me to be that notice.”

“Oh, well, um...” The red Quartz glanced back to her other Quartzes. Their heads remained down. A smaller orange Quartz shrugged. The red Quartz looked back to Pearl. She scratched the back of her head. “Well, I don’t know ...”

White Pearl’s face didn’t change, but Steven noticed her voice get lower.

“I understand,” she said. “I am capable of bringing us all to White Diamond, so you can explain your disregard of her orders personally, if that is what you wish.”

The red Quartz cringed. She glanced back, all the other Quartzes were shaking their heads. The orange Quartz actually went as far as waving her arms in front of her.

“ _T-that won’t be necessary_!” the red Quartz said, laughing nervously. She gestured towards the Leg Ship. “Please, Pink Diamond, the ship is yours.”

“Oh um ...” Steven chuckled awkwardly. “Thank you. Um ... you can-- you can all stand now.”

“Of course, Pink Diamond!”

All the Quartzes stood to their feet. They shuffled to the side, allowing White Pearl and Steven a path to the ship.

As they walked past them to board, once they were out of the Quartz’s earshot, she leaned to White Pearl.

“Pearl, that was _amazing_!” he whispered. “You’re so smart!”

White Pearl, still not breaking her position, whispered back.

“I am not,” she said. “I was only using what seemed like the simplest method to solve our problem.”

“Well, it was better than my plan of headbutting the wall.”

White Pearl gave a small chuckle in her throat. Steven turned towards her, a smile on his face.

“Did I make you laugh?” he whispered.

White Pearl’s face remained frozen, but he swore he saw the corners of her mouth twitch.

“No ... no, not at all,” she insisted.


	7. Reformat

Launching proved turbulent for Steven. Once he and White Pearl boarded the bridge of the Leg Ship, he stood upon the elevated pink platform like last time. As soon as he did, pink light covered his entire lower half. It was weightless like ... well, light, but it made his legs and lower torso feel like they were on pins and needles.

White Pearl stood next to him. Pink panels of hard light appeared in front of her, almost automatically.

“I can set a course after takeoff,” White Pearl said.

“Okay,” Steven said.

He looked out the window of the ship, only able to see the ceiling of the spaceport, as the ship was on its back.

“Alright, um ...”

Hesitantly, Steven took a step.

The ship lurched. There was a loud crash outside. He felt resistance, the pins and needles feeling intensifying in his legs, making him unable to place his foot on the ground.

White Pearl stared ahead unphased.

“Okay ... maybe I could ...”

Steven placed his foot back in it’s original position, then took a step back. There was another crash followed by a distant “WHOA!” outside. He felt intense numbness on his right thigh.

Faintly, he heard a Peridot outside.

“WHO’S PILOTING THAT THING? **IT JUST SWEEPKICKED A ROAMING EYE!** ” she yelled. Apparently, someone Steven couldn’t hear told her, because a moment later she shouted, “OH UM ... EXCELLENT DRIVING, PINK DIAMOND!”

Steven grimaced. This escape was getting less inconspicuous by the second.

White Pearl leaned over.

“Try to keep the position of the ship in the forefront of your mind, Steven,” White Pearl said gently. “It was face up in the port. Try to move how you would if stuck in such a position.”

“Okay, okay ... so the ship was lying with it’s butt down so ...” Steven nodded. “Okay, I think I got it.”

Steven sat on the platform, then scooted slowly backwards. His butt felt numb and he heard the loud, dull creaking of metal on metal, but he seemed to be moving without any crashes at least.

He tried not to imagine how ridiculous it must have been for the Gems outside, watching the Leg Ship butt-drag its way out of port.

After several minutes, he felt the numbness in his lower back disappear as he looked outside, only seeing the blackness of space dotted by distant stars. He jolted upright, the speed of the ship quickening in response.

“Phew ... we did it,” he said. He turned to White Pearl and gave a big smile. “We escaped.”

White Pearl didn’t smile back right away. She stood still, then gave a nod as her lips curved.

“Yes ... excellent work, Steven,” White Pearl said. She touched the panel. “I’m setting a course for your Zoo.”

“Oh um ... okay ...” Steven looked away. It was hard for him not to notice White Pearl was standing in the same spot Pearl had been when he first piloted the ship.

Pearl... of all his family, he was worried about her fate the most. Whatever White Diamond could have done to her, whatever “proper place” she could conceive, was certainly not pleasant. After how hard she fought, the idea of her being anyone’s slave after all that was _sickening_.

But he tried to remain strong. He would find her. He would find all of them. And thankfully, he wasn’t in it alone.

* * *

Despite the orders she had to not feel any special attachment to Steven, White Pearl couldn’t help but feel like scum.

She stood next to Steven on the ship. They had been flying through space for hours, and an awkward silence had formed. The only noises were the occasional quiet beep from the controls and the low hum of the ship’s engine, a sharp contrast to the busy spaceport they left. White Pearl’s eye darted over to Steven, who was looking at her. Once they caught eyes, he looked away, bashfully hanging his head.

Even if he hadn’t ordered it, she knew he desired conversation. But White Pearl didn’t much feel like talking.

Every step of the way, Steven hadn’t stopped heaping praise on her, saying how smart and helpful she was. Considering her usual treatment by White Diamond, this was ... not unpleasant.

But the knowledge that she was simply following White Diamond’s order, to assist Steven until either he gave up or needed to be eliminated to prevent total success, made all of Steven’s praise sour for her.

She couldn’t help but frown.

She wasn’t smart. She wasn’t nice. She wasn’t _anything._ Nothing that deserved all the nice things Steven said.

And what’s worse was that it _mattered_ to White Pearl. She almost wished that White Diamond’s order to stop feeling her emotions had been all encompassing. It would have been safer for her (after all, White Diamond could always be listening) and it would have saved her this pain.

That was a curious thing in and of itself. Most of White Diamond’s orders _were_ absolute. And yet ... something about the orders in regards to attachment to Steven seemed less effective. She shouldn’t feel anything regarding him at all, so why did she continue to do so?

Why did Steven’s desires matter more to her than Her Diamond’s, the Gem she was designed to help?

“Pearl?”

White Pearl turned to Steven.

“Oh.” She forced herself to smile. “Yes, My D-- yes, Steven?”

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

White Pearl wanted desperately to say, no, she wasn’t okay, that she was under orders to sabotage what he was attempting to do if he got too close to success, that she hated herself knowing that ...

But when she even thought of saying that, her jaw felt frozen shut.

Finally, she just said, “Yes. I am fine.”

“Oh ... okay ...”

White Pearl’s glazed back over at the screens in front of her.

“We should be approaching your Zoo shortly, Steven,” she said.

Steven chuckled.

“I’m glad you know how to navigate this thing, cause I sure don’t ...” Steven said. He sighed. “Pearl, you’ve been such a big help and ... I just wanna say thank you.”

White Pearl felt a pang somewhere deep in her Gem.

“That’s ... not necessary ...” she said, almost mumbling.

“No really, I don’t know what I’d have been able to do without you.”

White Pearl felt her chest sink, the word stinging against him. For some reason, she got the painful image in her head of the worst case scenario, of her hands at Steven’s throat to fulfill White Diamond’s whim. She told herself that wouldn’t happen ... but if it did, would he think of this moment? Would he think of how thankful he was then? Somehow, the very idea hurt White Pearl worse than when she was tormented by White Diamond.

“And ...” Steven gulped. “I--I kinda wanted to try something. As a thank you.”

White Pearl raised her eyebrow. She tried her best to forget the image in her head, pushing it to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to look shaken by it, so she casually steadied herself by gripping the sides of the screens.

“W... what do you mean?” she asked.

Steven glanced down at the floor.

“Well ... if-if this is out of line, just let me know but ...” He rubbed his shoulder, biting his lip. “I have healing powers so I thought maybe, if you wanted, we could see if it helps with ... you know ... your eye.”

White Pearl stared at him. Steven waved his hands frantically in front of him.

“If you don’t want that, it’s fine! That’s not an order, I just thought maybe I should ... I could offer or ...” Steven trailed off, his eyes drifting to the floor, as if he’d done something wrong.

“No, that’s fine,” White Pearl said, with a laugh. “It’s just ... no one’s ever offered me anything like that before ...” She touched the empty space on her face, feeling the cracks with her hand.

“Like I said, we don’t have to try if you’re not comfortable,” Steven said. “If your Gem used to be there, I’m not even sure this would do anything but--”

“No. Please. I want to try,” White Pearl was surprised with how quick her response was. On some level, she knew this was wrong, that she didn’t deserve this ...

But at the same time, her hand wouldn’t leave her face.

“Okay ...” Steven chuckled. “You should probably stand in front of me. I’m uh ...” He glanced down at his lower half, still engulfed in pink light. “I’m kinda afraid if I take a step we might crash into a planet or something.”

“I see.”

White Pearl moved away from the controls then stood before Steven. She knelt down on one knee, facing Steven at eye level. She lowered her hand from her face.

“Sooooo ... this is gonna be a little weird ...” Steven licked his palm then gently rubbed it on White Pearl’s face.

She felt a tingle, but not much else at first. For a moment, she thought there had been no effect.

And then ... she felt her Gem on her stomach start to vibrate. The cracks, which she was painfully aware of almost constantly, felt like they began to fill in. She looked down at herself. Her hard light body began to glow white ...

Then the light began to change to a pinkish hue ...

But then, abruptly, she felt a sharp stab in her Gem and the empty space on her face. She yelped in pain as she stumbled back and fell to the ground, clutching her face. She felt the cracks reappear beneath her fingers. Her Gem shifted back into place.

“ _Pearl_!” Steven shouted. He ran forward, his lower half still glowing pink. White Pearl could feel the ship shift, but Steven hardly seem to notice. He crouched down, the ship creaking in response. “Pearl, are you alright?!”

White Pearl moved her hand, the pain stopping. She glanced down. She was no longer glowing, her physical form looking the same as before.

“... yes,” White Pearl said, trying not to sound disappointed. “I ... I suppose it didn’t work.”

“I--I’m sorry,” Steven said, hands on his chest. “That’s never hurt anyone before.”

White Pearl’s thoughts drifted to the intense burning she felt whenever White Diamond asked her to feel pain.

“ _I don’t think that was because of you_ ...” she mumbled.

“H-huh?”

White Pearl shook her head.

“Nothing,” she said, getting up from the floor. “I want you to know, I appreciate the attempt, My Diamond.”

She brushed herself off, then her eye drifted back to Steven, who stared with his mouth agape.

“Is something wrong?” she said.

“You ... you just called me ‘My Diamond’ again,” Steven said slowly.

“... did I?” White Pearl said. She felt her posture get ridged. “I ... I didn’t realize. Perhaps you misheard.”

“I ... I don’t think so.” Steven stood to his feet. “And actually I’ve ... kinda noticed you’ve done that _a lot_.”

“Oh ... I’m sorry if that displeased you.”

“No no ... I mean ...” Steven gave a nervous laugh. “Well, I gotta admit, it makes me really uncomfortable but ...” He furrowed his brow. “When I tried healing you, I kinda noticed that for a minute, you kinda ...” He hesitated. White Pearl stood waiting expectantly. “... you turned pink.”

White Pearl’s eye drifted up. She _had_ noticed her light had turned pinkish.

“Yes,” she said. “I thought that might have been an effect of your abilities.”

“It ... well, maybe it was but, maybe ...” Steven didn’t finish his sentence.

“... Steven, I’m not sure exactly what you’re--”

“Pearl ...” Steven spoke slowly, as he was unsure of what he was saying, “... what did you look like _before_ White Diamond changed your appearance?”

“What?”

“I mean ...” Steven’s face paled. “Were you pink before she did that?”

“What?” White Pearl felt a chuckle escape her. “That’s ridiculous. I was made for White Diamond. Why would my appearance be pink?”

“So you _weren’t_ pink?”

“No, I was ...” White Pearl stopped, her eye getting wide. She tried to recall how she looked before the day White Diamond moved her Gem. _That_ event she remembered vividly. She remembered the general knowledge of being made for White Diamond, being made after the resource scarcity, but any details from before her appearance was modified ...

White Pearl looked at Steven, her eye wide in terror.

“I ... I can’t remember ...” she whispered. “I ...” White Pearl shook her head. That made no sense. She must have thought back to her life before that day at some point. She must have had a reason to before now. She couldn’t have gone this long without thinking about it ...

_Right_?

Steven stared at her, hand to his mouth.

“Is ... did White Diamond do something to make you forget? Is that ... is that something she can do?”

White Pearl was forbidden from saying so, but all she could think of was Pink Diamond’s Pearl, how White Diamond had ordered her to forget what she had seen ...

Had White Pearl been ordered to forget before?

Had she been ordered to forget more than just _that_?

She felt her hands shake.

“Pearl?” Steven asked.

White Pearl opened her mouth, but nothing came out. What could she even say anyway?

Slowly, White Pearl rose to her feet. Moving almost automatically despite the sinking feeling in her chest, she moved back to the controls.

“We should ...” She shook her head. “We should continue moving. We’re not far away.”

“Pearl, it’s okay.”

White Pearl slowly clenched her fist. Her body felt heavy, but she tried her best to steady her voice.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Steven approached her slowly. “I-it’s okay. We can talk about it.”

White Pearl felt her teeth clench.

“ _You’re definitely wrong about that,_ ” she mumbled.

“Pearl, I just want to help you. I know how you feel.”

“ _No, you don’t!_ ” Before she could stop herself, White Pearl slammed her fist on the controls, causing Steven to flinch. She yelled so loud she was spitting. “You don’t know what it’s like to not even know if your memories are real and you can’t even think about it because your _owner_ might be listening to your thoughts all the time and things might get worse! You don’t understand what it’s like because you’re a Diamond so how _could_ you?! You don’t know _anything_ about what my life is like so _stop acting like you do_!”

White Pearl’s fist shook. In the silence that followed, White Pearl’s anger dulled and she saw the look on Steven’s face. He only stared at her. His eyes looked moist, but no tears ever fell.

“Pearl ...” he said weakly.

White Pearl opened her mouth to apologize ... but she couldn’t find the words. After an awkward silence, she closed her eye.

“You ... you should get back into position,” White Pearl said.

Steven’s lip quivered slightly for just a minute, but eventually he nodded and strode back to the platform. White Pearl watched him, but said nothing.

_I shouldn’t have said that_ , White Pearl thought. It didn’t make her feel any better, and she knew Steven didn’t deserve it. The implications of what Steven was asking were not lost on her, but she didn’t want to think of it. She couldn’t, not with White Diamond possibly listening. She tried to block the thoughts out of her mind, the possibility that ... perhaps ... she was originally meant for a different Diamond ...

_Don’t think about it_ , she told herself. _Don’t think about it._

Her eye drifted to Steven. He stood riggedly. The silence was somehow more deafening than before. His eyes were downcast, a sullen expression on his face.

White Pearl looked away, fixing her eye back on the controls. She wanted to apologize, but she ultimately didn’t. She decided it was better this way.

If he felt hurt by her, he wouldn’t be as attached to her. And if he ever learned of her order for betrayal, it wouldn’t hurt him as badly.

Maybe it was better if part of him hated her. It’s not like he ever really knew her anyway. After all, she might not even know _herself_.


	8. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Very very brief mention of suicidal ideation.

White Pearl stood at the controls, trying hard not to think about many things.

She was trying not to think about Steven ... her orders ...  the knowledge that what she once thought were obvious facts was now unreliable ... the possibility she’d been meant for Pink Diamond and never knew it. (Was she made for her and never given to her? Or was she given to her and taken back like Pink Diamond’s other Pearl? Could she really have forgotten that if that were true? Who even knew anymore.)

She tried not to think about any of it and did a poor job.

White Diamond probably sensed all of this. Her shattering was likely already assured. White Pearl closed her eyes and breathed in, despite not needing air.

_Great_ , she thought. _Good. Fine. I don’t care anymore._ At least then her existence would not be so complicated. She’d know exactly what she was: _nothing_. Perhaps that was the only comfort she could ever hope for.

The silence, aside from the hum of the engine and creaks of the ship, broke as Steven finally spoke.

“... I’m sorry.”

White Pearl said nothing at first, trying not to look at Steven. She was unsuccessful, as she hazarded a glance towards the platform. When she saw Steven standing there, his eyes red, she turned away.

“I didn’t mean to upset you ...” Steven said.

White Pearl pretended to be engrossed by the controls.

Steven cleared his throat.

“It ... it doesn’t change how I think of you or anything, if that’s one of the things you’re worried about,” Steven said. “I’m not going to treat you any different.”

White Pearl slumped down and rubbed her temple. Her head hurt.

“ _I’m not worried about that_ ,” she muttered.

Steven frowned.

“I guess it’s just kinda ... _overwhelming_...” Steven said. “I can understand that.”

White Pearl glared at him.

“Can you?” she said, her voice cracking. “You can’t know what it’s like to not even know who you _are_.”

Steven, to White Pearl’s surprise, actually raised his voice.

“Uh, _yes I can_!” Steven’s cheeks flushed red. “I’ve not known who I am practically my whole life! I spent most of it just trying to be like my mom cause everyone told me she was wonderful or whatever! And then when I think I’m actually getting there, I find out she apparently shattered Pink Diamond. And then just when I start to get a handle on _that_ , I find out she really _WAS_ Pink Diamond. So basically the person I was trying to be didn’t even _exist_ to begin with! At least not how I thought!”

White Pearl stared at Steven. Steven grimaced and lowered his head.

“... sorry, I didn’t mean to yell ...” he said softly. “You’re ... you’re right, I can’t understand exactly how you feel, but I can relate a little bit. I can relate to not even knowing who you are anymore ...”

White Pearl’s lip quivered. She turned away.

“I ...” White Pearl shook her head. “I ... was unaware of that ...”

Steven sighed.

“Well ... we can just be really confused and not know who we are together, how about that?” Steven said. He gave a weak smile. “That makes things a little better, doesn’t it?”

White Pearl felt coolness on her cheek and only then realized tears were trickling down.

Steven put his hand to his mouth.

“It’s okay, Pearl,” he stammered. “I-I didn’t mean to make you sad--”

Before she could stop herself, or even realize what she was doing, she kneeled down and embraced Steven, hugging him tight. Steven was frozen still, taken aback.

“Thank you ...” she whispered. She felt a shudder down her back as she suppressed a sob. “I’m sorry ...”

Steven hesitantly patted White Pearl’s back.

“It’s okay, Pearl,” he said.

“If I really did belong to Pink Diamond ... I wish I could have been there for you when you felt this way.”

Steven hesitated, as if unsure what to say.

“If-- if you still did belong to mom, she would have set you free like Pearl ... I mean, the Pearl I know. You wouldn’t _have_ to do that.”

“I would still want to.” She hadn’t planned on saying that, but she knew she meant it.

Steven gave a laugh, despite sounding choked up.

“That-- that would be nice ...” He paused. “Pearl, be careful.” His voice lowered. “ _You-know-who could be listening_ ...”

“... I know. But ... I’m not concerned about that now.”

And it was true, she wasn’t. She’d probably done enough to get in trouble anyway, what were a few more errant thoughts going to do?

White Pearl thought about Steven’s words about Pink Diamond’s Pearl. She frowned, thinking back to her altered appearance, her subservient behavior ...

Once again, she opened her mouth, intending to blurt out everything despite the consequences, but no noise came out. In their embrace, Steven couldn’t even see her try. She clamped her mouth shut, clenching her fist.

No such luck. Despite White Pearl’s desire, she could not override a direct order. She couldn’t tell him when she was told not to. She felt a knot near her Gem. That made the order to hurt Steven if he got close to success all the worse.

If it came to pass, there would be no avoiding following White Diamond’s instructions. And looking at Steven, she believed more and more he would succeed. Or at least, despite everything, she _wanted_ him to.

And she was going to be forced to stand in his way. Unless she thought of something ...

“You okay, Pearl?” Steven said.

White Pearl broke the embrace. She looked at Steven. Despite her fear, she forced a smile.

“Yes,” she said. “Thank you for all you’ve done, My--”

Steven frowned before White Pearl shook her head and corrected herself.

“Sorry. _Steven_.” She shrugged. “I ... suppose if your theory is correct, old habits are hard to break.”

“It-- it’s okay,” Steven said. “But please, just call me Steven.”

“Of course.”

There was a ding from the pink control screens nearby. White Pearl and Steven turned to look out the window.

Outside was a large, pink space station shaped like a colossal dagger with a ring circling it. They gradually crept closer to the ring, where the ship would dock. From far away, it didn’t look like much, but as they drew nearer, it was clear even the ring was massive.

“We’re here,” White Pearl said.

Steven gulped.

“Yeah ...” he said.

* * *

“Are you certain this will work?” White Pearl said as she pressed buttons on the controls, turning off the engines as they docked the ship.

“Yep! Positive!” Steven said with an uneasy smile.

Steven was not positive at all.

The plan _seemed_ simple enough. Since pretty much everyone knew Steven was Pink Diamond, and this was his Zoo as far as anyone else was concerned, he figured all he had to do was _ask_ to see Connie and order her released. Besides, even if the Amethysts in the Zoo somehow _didn’t_ know he was Pink Diamond, Amethyst had made such good friends with them that they’d probably help anyway. Simple, easy, nothing should go wrong.

But Steven still had an uneasy stomach about it. Mainly because there was one big obstacle to all that: Holly Blue Agate. The Crystal Gems and he had humiliated her last time they were here. If she was still in charge, Steven wasn’t sure being a Diamond was enough to convince her to back off. He’d warned White Pearl that they might have to prepare for a fight. At least he figured most of the Amethysts at the Zoo would be more than willing to turn on Holly Blue at the drop of a hat, so those were pretty good odds ...

He took a breath. Whatever happened, things were stacked in their favor. It really, _really_ didn’t feel like it, but he reminded himself his escape had gone well enough. This shouldn’t be that much more difficult.

The engines went quiet. There was a loud metal _clank_ as the entrance ramp descended from the bottom of the ship. White Pearl stepped from the controls.

“The ship is docked. Shall we go, Steven?” White Pearl said.

Steven forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look too much like a grimace.

“Yeah ...” he said.

“Are you feeling alright?” White Pearl said, gently touching his shoulder.

“Kinda ...” He sighed. “Just nervous. I’ll ... I think I’ll feel a lot better once we get Connie.” As much as he hated to admit it, even with White Pearl’s emotional support, Connie’s absence was a hole no one else could fill. He gave a weak smile to White Pearl. “I think you’ll really like her, Pearl.”

“What is she like?”  
  
“Uh ...” Steven laughed nervously. “Like smart. And amazing and ... nice. Kinda like me, only better. And tough. And ...” Steven realized he was blushing. “I dunno. Just ... she’s like a lot of things.”

White Pearl blinked, then gave a polite smile.

“If she’s like you, I’m certain I’ll like her then,” she said.

Steven’s shoulders relaxed as he smiled back. His heartbeat slowed. He just needed to focus on helping Connie and ... and then everything would be okay.

“Okay. I guess we should head out and--” Steven looked out of the front window of the ship, into the port. Things appeared normal. The pink surfaces and the steps leading up to the metal hatch leading into the Zoo looked the same. But--

He felt a lump in his throat as his mouth curved downward. “That’s ... odd ...”

White Pearl raised her eyebrow and looked out the window.

“I don’t see anything,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s ... that’s the problem,” Steven said, the lump getting bigger. “Last time I was here, there were Amethysts standing guard outside. Now there’s no one ...”

White Pearl frowned.

“That _is_ curious,” she said.

Steven’s heartbeat picked back up again.

“It ... it’s probably fine,” Steven said. “I’ll--I’ll just go up and knock.”

“... alright.” White Pearl glanced back to the window, then back to Steven. “I’ll stay close to you, Steven.”

“... thanks.”

Steven stepped from the platform and quickly made his way down the hatch into the Zoo. White Pearl remained in step next to him. The port was so quiet that their footsteps on metal felt as loud as gunshots. As hard as Steven tried to listen for anyone else, he heard nothing.

They approached the metal hatch. Steven stopped, looked both ways. Still no one. He took a breath then rapped his knuckles on the door.

“... hello?” Steven said softly.

There was no answer.

He banged his fist harder on the door. The clanking echoed through the port.

“Hello?!” he shouted.

White Pearl put her hand on Steven’s shoulder.

“Perhaps I can phase us through quietly and--”

Before he could stop himself, Steven shouted, “IS ANYONE IN THERE?!”

Finally, there was a response on the other end. The voice sounded vaguely familiar. His heart almost kept, thinking it was Amethyst for a moment, but the inflection was different. He recognized it as one of the Amethysts he met at the Zoo (though he couldn’t remember which one).

“GO AWAY!” the Amethyst on the other side shouted. “WE’RE UNDER LOCKDOWN!”

Steven flinched. White Pearl, however, glared. She took a step in front of Steven.

“Is that any way to address _Pink Diamond_?” White Pearl shouted.

“... _WHAT_?!” Steven could hear muffled steps behind the door. The Amethyst said something he couldn’t make out to someone who was not there. A moment later, the door opened automatically.

Steven and White Pearl were faced with a scuffed up Amethyst with messy curly hair pointing a crude wooden spear uncomfortably close to Steven’s face.

Steven was frozen in shock for a moment. White Pearl, however, gripped the shaft of the spear and stared at the Amethyst, as if waiting for the next move to happen.

The Amethyst looked Steven up and down. Her uneasy expression relaxed as she placed the spear at her side. White Pearl still didn’t relax, nor did she move from her position in front of Steven.

“Phew ... it really is you,” the Amethyst mumbled. “Finally ...”

Now that Steven found himself able to breathe again, he recognized the Amethyst.

“Hey! I remember you!” Steven said. “You’re 8XJ!”

The Amethyst blinked in shock, then smiled.

“Wow, I can’t believe you remembered,” 8XJ said. “I hear you’re a Diamond now.” She laughed. “We tried to tell some other Gems we’d met you already and they said we were lying.”

Steven chuckled.

“Well, I guess it is pretty unbelievable,” Steven said, smiling and scratching the back of his head. Steven glanced at White Pearl. “Pearl, this is 8XJ. She and her friends helped us out last time.”

White Pearl did not drop her glare.

“Why were you holding a spear?” she asked.

“Huh?” 8XJ looked down at the weapon, as if she forgot it was there. She stuck it behind her back with one hand, and dismissively waved with another. “Oh, nothing. Nothing.”

Steven’s smile dropped.

“Oh yeah ... and what was that about a lockdown?” Steven asked.

“Oh right ... that.” 8XJ laughed nervously. “Just ...” She swallowed. “Just a minor problem we’re dealing with now. The boss said we needed to protect ourselves. No big deal.”

“The boss? Holly Blue?”

8XJ opened her mouth to reply, but a very familiar laugh interrupted her. 8XJ stiffened in response.

“ _Psh_ , don’t worry about _her_ , she ain’t in charge anymore.”

Steven’s eyes went wide. White Pearl noticed.

“Steven?” White Pearl said.

Without wasting another second, Steven pushed past 8XJ. 8XJ’s voice may have confused him for a moment before, but there was no mistaking it this time.

“ _Amethyst_!” Steven shouted as he moved past 8XJ. “You’re here?! I can’t--”

Steven stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Amethyst behind 8XJ. Steven’s stomach twisted into knots and he suppressed the urge to break into tears.

It was definitely Amethyst. Her face, her voice, her hair, it was all the same ...

But her size was different. She was huge, muscular, tall. She looked as large as Jasper or ... no, actually Steven thought she looked slightly _bigger_ than Jasper.

Worse than that though, her color was different. Her bright purple hue was gone, replaced with a muted dark purple and white complexion. Just like White Pearl.

It didn’t take much imagination for Steven to think of who might have done that.

Amethyst gave a big grin. She waved her arms down at herself.

“ _Ta-da_!” Amethyst said. She twisted, displaying her arms to Steven, as if showing off. “Notice anything new?”

Steven was speechless. His chest felt like it sank into a black hole. He couldn’t even think. All he could knew was that something was very, _very_ wrong here.


	9. Meet the New Boss ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [E350tb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb) for inspiring the Amethyst plot element with his recent fic [A Lovely Family Dinner.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522726) Used this similar plot point with his permission. I really enjoy that oneshot so you should check it out.

Before Steven could even say a word, Amethyst picked him up by the shoulders. Steven’s eyes were wide, still so shocked he could hardly move.

8XJ grimaced at the sight. Steven’s heartbeat quickened.

_This is it,_ he thought. _This is it._ And he found himself filled with intense anger, not at Amethyst, but at White Diamond for doing ... _whatever she did_ to make Amethyst do this.

Steven could hear White Pearl charge forward. He glanced down to see a furious look on her face.

“ _Let him go, you--”_ she said.

But before she could finish, Amethyst pulled Steven to her massive chest, embracing him.

“ _BEAR HUG_!” Amethyst said, laughing. She looked down at him, eyes lidded. “Couldn’t do that before, eh, Steven?”

Steven somehow found his voice.

“Heh heh um ... y-yeah,” Steven stammered. She certainly _sounded_ like the Amethyst he remembered. This was definitely something she’d do. That _should_ have been reassuring. But somehow he found he couldn’t stop staring at her massive arms around him, her hands on his shoulders.

White Pearl stared up, not sure what to make of it. Even judging by a quick glance, Steven could tell her shoulders were tense.

Amethyst flipped her long white hair behind her. Before it reached her feet; now, even though it was just as long, it barely made it halfway down her back. She let out a laugh.

“But seriously,” she said, smiling warmly, “it’s great to see you again. I’m glad you’re alright. White D said I wouldn’t see you a while, but I just knew you’d find a way, you little genius.” She took a knuckle and dragged it against Steven’s head, giving him a noogie that tickled more than hurt.

“Hehe- okay okay, stop,” Steven said, putting a hand up to stop Amethyst.

“Sure thing, lil’ man.” Amethyst loosened her embrace of Steven and crouched down, lowering him to the floor.

Steven rubbed one of his shoulder after he was set down, already sore from Amethyst’s grip.

White Pearl approached behind him, gently laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Y-yeah,” Steven said. He looked in White Pearl’s eye. He hoped his eyes made it clear that _no_ , things were not okay, but he couldn’t say that. Not with Amethyst there. “Um ...” Steven gestured to Amethyst. “Pearl, this is Amethyst. Amethyst, Pearl ... um ... White Pearl.”

“Ohhh,” Amethyst said, nodding. She gave a wide grin. “That makes sense. Hey, you haven’t seen the Pearl we know around, have you?”

White Pearl stared for a moment, then shook her head.

Amethyst’s lips curved downward.

“Well ... that’s okay.” Amethyst nodded slowly. “I’m sure she’s fine, wherever she is. Garnet too. White D said so.”

“Uh ... yeah, about that ...” Steven clenched his teeth, trying to find the best way to broach this. “What ... exactly happened?”

“Oh, you mean my pallete swap?” Amethyst laughed. “Just a little gift White D gave me. Along with the new job.” She shrugged. “Not really my thing, but I’m just playing along, you know? Though White D did get Holly Blue canned so she can’t be _all_ bad.” Amethyst chuckled. “Got some _big_ changes in mind. Everyone’s really excited, right XJ?”

8XJ tilted her head up and nodded, not saying a word. Amethyst smiled in response.

Steven glanced over a White Pearl. He could tell she wanted to say something, but he only gave the slightest of nods.

“O ... kay ...” Steven said. “Well um ... i-it’s good to see you. I was actually trying to ... you know ... escape. I--I didn’t know you were here, actually. I heard Connie was here, so ...”

“Yes yes, we’ll get all that straightened out, but first you gotta check out what I’m doing around here!” Amethyst laid a massive hand on Steven’s head. “You’re gonna love what I have in mind. Lot of its in the planning stages but--”

“Excuse me,” White Pearl said, stepping forward. “But _Pink Diamond_ just asked to see his friend so, if you would, please let him see his friend.”

In an instant, Amethyst’s smile faded. Her eyes narrowed and her voice got lower.

“Maybe you didn’t get the memo, but _that ain’t Pink Diamond, honey,_ ” Amethyst said.

8XJ gulped.

The tone was so unlike Amethyst that Steven felt a shiver down his spine. Fearing things were about to turn nasty, Steven stepped forward.

“Sorry, heh,” Steven scratched the back of his head. “P-pearl’s just a little sensitive. We’ve been through a lot.”

Amethyst’s expression softened. She snorted.

“Oh, another sensitive Pearl,” she said. “Haven’t seen _that_ before ...” She chuckled. “Sorry, guess I got a little defensive.” She sighed and folded her arms. “Stressful day, you know? But don’t worry.” She leaned towards White Pearl, which looked too much like her looming over her. “I’m sure you and I will see _eye to eye_ soon enough.”

Steven saw White Pearl’s eye twitch, but she didn’t say anything more, merely frowned and turned her head away.

“Anyway!” Amethyst clapped her hands together. “Why don’t you and your new friend come this way? I’ll show you the cool stuff I’m working on, then you can tell me how you got out here.”

“Well--”

Amethyst didn’t wait for Steven to finish. She looked to 8XJ.

“XJ, if you could just--” She nodded back towards the hallway.

“Oh ...” 8XJ clutched the spear in front of her. “Of course ...” She walked past Steven and White Pearl, leading the way.

Amethyst gestured after her.

“Right this way,” Amethyst said with a grin that was a little too wide.

“Uh ... yeeeeeaaaah,” Steven cleared his throat. “I meant to ask ... what’s with the spear anyway?”

Amethyst blinked and, for a moment, was silent. A second later, she smiled again and waved her hand.

“ _Psh_ , nothing major,” Amethyst said. “Just a precaution. We’ve just kind of had a few _problems_ recently.” She spoke the next words through clenched teeth. “Kinda frustrating.”

Steven was conscious of his heartbeat quickening.

“What ... kind of problems?” Steven asked.

“Steven ...” To Steven’s surprised, Amethyst’s voice got gentle and she got down on her knee. Her eyes were wide and kind, almost like normal.  “I know you get being a worrywart from Pearl, but I want you to let me worry about this.”

“But--”

“Like I said back on Earth, you can’t be making everyone else’s problems your own, you know? Let me worry about things for once.” She winked. “It’s kinda my job around here and trust me, I’ll get things under control. And it’ll be great.”

“I ...” Steven looked in Amethyst’s eyes. In that moment, Steven was reminded that despite all the weirdness ... she really was Amethyst. This wasn’t a fake, it was definitely her. And whatever happened, her memory hadn’t been erased because the conversation Amethyst mentioned had only happened a week or so ago.

This was really Amethyst. It was both comforting and horrifying all at once.

“O--okay,” Steven said with a nod. Something was certainly messed up here, but he didn’t want to hurt the real Amethyst’s feelings if he could avoid it. He just had to figure all this out.

“Good,” Amethyst smiled. She rose to her feet. “Alright, now that the mushy garbage is out the way...” She glanced to 8XJ. They caught eyes and she started walking forward. She turned her attention back to Steven. “Stick close to me, okay?”

“S-sure ...” Steven said. He reached out and gripped White Pearl’s hand.

White Pearl, who seemed to be silently trying to calm down after Amethyst’s remarks, looked down at Steven.

“Keep your voice low ...” Steven whispered.

White Pearl nodded as they walked behind Amethyst, trailing as far back as they could despite her request.

“What did White Diamond do to her?” Steven asked, his throat feeling dry.

“I ... I’m not certain,” White Pearl said. “I know that Gems gifted abilities by White Diamond change color like that.”

“Well ... I guess that would explain why she’s bigger but ... does it make you act different, when she does that?”

“I ...” White Pearl shook her head slowly. “I don’t remember anything from before so I don’t know if it made me behave any differently ....”

“Have you ever seen any other Gem that’s had that done act weird after that?”

White Pearl’s mouth twitched.

“N--no,” she said, oddly hesitant. She paused. “In all honesty, for the longest time, I was the only Gem gifted powers by White Diamond. It’s a rare act for her.”

Steven nodded, and frowned. “Well, she definitely did _something_. Amethyst wouldn’t be so gung-ho about this job normally. And she _definitely_ wouldn’t be okay not knowing where Pearl and Garnet are.” Steven’s eyes went wide. “White Diamond can’t like ... mind control Gems she does that to or something, can she?”

White Pearl shook her head.

“No,” she said. “White Diamond can read minds but she doesn’t have that ability ...” White Pearl pursed her lips together, then added, “... to my knowledge.”

Steven cringed. He didn’t like the idea of not knowing what was going on with Amethyst, not knowing if it was truly her at the controls or someone else ...

“Hey!” Amethyst said, stopping and turning back. “Don’t hang back too far! I can’t stroke my ego if you’re not listening, _heh_!”

Steven tried very hard not to be amused by that.

“Oh, um ... coming!” He lowered his voice. “Let’s ... just be careful and play along for now. At least until we find Connie. See if we can find anything out.” He sighed. “I ... I just want to make sure she’s alright. I’m getting worried.”

White Pearl frowned, then stroked her thumb on the inside of his palm

“I’ll ... make certain we find out something.”

“... thanks,” Steven said with a weak smile.

They both hurried in step to Amethyst. Amethyst reached out along the wall, touching a panel. Underneath their feet, the floor became transparent, revealing the all-too-familiar containment area of the Zoo.

It looked largely how Steven remembered. He could see the bright green grass and blue water, so vibrant that it was clearly artificial. The thick trees were dotted with the purple, geometrical fruit that he himself enjoyed thanks to White Pearl not long ago. He saw some of the Zoomans as well. They were smiling and running around, their otherworldly blue and white clothing dragging against the grass, earrings dangling from their ears. He couldn’t get a good look at them from above, but their behavior seemed normal.

Steven breathed a sigh of relief. He had been afraid he’d see signs of mistreatment or something. Obviously he didn’t think _Amethyst_ would do that but ... if she were being controlled in some way ...

“So as you can see, these little guys are having fun,” Amethyst said. She chuckled. “Kinda cute, huh?”

Steven shrunk his head into his shoulders. He wouldn’t describe captivity as _cute_.

“It’s alright, I guess ...” he said.

White Pearl glanced down at the floor.

“The human Steven asked about ... Connie ... which one is she?” she asked.

“Oh uh ...” Amethyst waved in the air. “Oh, I’m sure she’s down there somewhere uh ...” Amethyst pointed down the hall. “Follow along. She might be near the Amethysts at one of new build projects ...”

“Build projects?” Steven said.

Amethyst grinned. They walked a few feet forward and she nodded down.

Steven saw that one area of the Zoo had changed. Below, in this part of the Containment Area, much of what had once been trees had been cleared away. Tree trunks and logs were spread out on the ground. A group of five Amethysts were down below, splitting wood with axes. A crude scaffold of splintered lumber stood upright on a foundation of gravel, and a handful of the Zooman sat nearby, watching enraptured.

“It ... looks like they’re making a building,” Steven said. “What are they building?”

Amethyst shrugged. “A Big Donut.”

Steven chuckled. “You’re joking,” he said.

“Nope.” Amethyst shook her head. “I figure this place could use a few more comforts. The natural utopia thing is a little _dry_ , you know. Figured we could jazz things up a bit. Everyone’s really excited, right, 8XJ?”

8XJ turned back and nodded, but was oddly quiet. Steven suppressed a shudder.

“I’m gonna try to get a Lapis Lazuli here soon to see about putting in a beach,” Amethyst went on.

“Oh that’s ... cool I gu--”

White Pearl interrupted Steven.

“Which of the humans down there is Connie?” White Pearl asked.

Steven felt a bead of sweat drip down his face.

“ _Maybe try to be a bit more subtle ._..” he whispered to White Pearl.

Amethyst narrowed her eyes at White Pearl, then glanced down below.

“You know ...” she said slowly, “I don’t see her down there. I’m sure she’s around _somewhere_...”

“I see.” White Pearl straightened up. “My Diamond has given me the ability to phase through solid matter. Perhaps I could go down and find her myself.”

Amethyst curved her mouth in a way that looked too annoyed to be a smile. She folded her arms.

“Do uh ... do you have a problem with me?” Amethyst said.

8XJ’s eyes darted from White Pearl to Amethyst. She cringed, clutching her spear with both hands.

Steven immediately stepped between them, raising his hands.

“No one has a problem with anyone!” Steven said, looking at White Pearl, before turning back to Amethyst. “Amethyst, you know I love you and I’m glad you’re excited about all this but ... I really want to know where Connie is.”

Amethyst wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes.

“ _Connie this, Connie that_ ,” Amethyst spat out. “If you love Connie so much, why don’t you just _marry her_?” Amethyst raised her voice. “I’m actually feeling responsible and good about myself for once, can’t you be happy for me?”

“You are responsible, and you felt happy _before_ , Amethyst! But you care about Connie too, or at least you _did_!”

Amethyst’s voice lowered.

“ _Don’t act like you know the inside of my head_ ,” she said, in a voice so unlike her Steven stepped back.

White Pear pushed her hand against Amethyst’s chest.

“Don’t speak to Steven like--”

Amethyst gripped White Pearl’s hand. A gasp escaped her lips as Amethyst’s hold tightened.

“ _I’m a Quartz and you’re a Pearl, you_ really _think this is smart for you?_ ” she said, her voice low and sinister. It sounded more like Jasper than Amethyst.

“Amethyst, stop!” Steven shouted.

8XJ held up her spear, but didn’t make a move, either against White Pearl or Amethyst. From the shocked look on her face, Steven wasn’t sure which she’d attack.

Steven jumped up and grabbed Amethyst’s arm, yanking it down.

“Amethyst! This isn’t like you! Stop it!” He shouted, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

Amethyst looked down, her grip still on White Pearl’s hand. However, when she saw Steven’s face, her expression softened.

“S-steven, I--” For a fraction of a second, Steven swore he saw Amethyst’s color get more vibrant, to the purple he remembered, but in an instant it was gone, like a flickering TV screen. Amethyst shook her head, then glared, her voice once again with an edge. “ _I’m just trying to look out for you_.”

Amethyst threw White Pearl’s hand away from her. White Pearl gripped her hand, glaring at Amethyst.

“Just butt out of my business, alright?” Amethyst said to White Pearl.

“You’re irrational,” White Pearl said.

“Great, and now there’s _another_ Pearl nagging me--”

“Amethyst, _what are you trying so hard to hide from me_?!” Steven said.

Amethyst gritted her teeth.

“ _I_ am the adult and _you_ are the child, stop acting like it’s the other way around!”

Steven tightened his hands into fists at that.

“If you want to pull rank so much, how about we talk about the fact _I’m a Diamond--”_

“Oh shut up, no you’re not!” Amethyst said. “Your _mom_ was the Diamond and if you’re trying to act like there’s no difference, _then you’re a bigger liar than she was_!”

Steven flinched, the words stinging his ears. 8XJ and White Pearl seemed as if they could only stand and stare, the air thick with conflict. There was an uneasy silence, which was only broken by shouting from down the hall.

“ _8XM_!”

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“ _Kinda busy here_!” she shouted.

Amethyst turned around, and two Gems Steven recognized from his last visit rounded the corner. One was a short reddish Gem with long hair, similar to Amethyst’s normal form, named Carnelian. The other was a skinny, tall version of Jasper everyone had aptly-dubbed Skinny.

“Sorry, 8XM,” Skinny said. “But this is important!”

Amethyst glowered at them. “I just said--”

Carnelian yanked at her own hair.

“ _We found another one!”_ she shouted nervously.

Amethyst shook her head in surprise.

“Wait, _what_?!” Amethyst put her hand to her mouth. She looked to 8XJ, who rubbed her temple with one hand and held the spear in the other, as if coming to grips with what just happened.

White Pearl stepped forward.

“Another _what_?” she asked.

“Are you talking about Connie?!” Steven shouted.

Amethyst turned and glared at Steven. However, Carnelian let out a nervous laugh.

“ _Her_?! No of course not, we still can’t find her, we’re talking about--”

In a flash, Amethyst reached down and yanked Carnelian up by the hair. She winced, a flash of pain crossing her expression.

“ _Stop shooting your mouth off, Beta_ ,” Amethyst growledsaid.

Skinny recoiled in fear. 8XJ, finally having less muted emotions, reached out and pushed Amethyst. Amethyst released her grip from Carnelian, causing her to fall from the floor and rub her scalp.

Amethyst gritted her teeth at 8XJ, who only clenched her jaw.

“We don’t have time for this!” 8XJ said, more hostile than her tone had been the entire time.

Before Amethyst could reply, Steven found himself shouting. He just couldn’t believe how Amethyst was acting.

“Amethyst! What is _wrong_ with you?! What’s going on here?!”

Suddenly, there was a loud crash down the hallway. Steven felt the ground beneath him shake.

Amethyst’s eyes went wide as she stared down the hall.

“S-she’s coming--” Skinny said hesitantly. She reached down for Carnelian and pulled her up by the hand. Even after Carnelian stood up, her hand lingered on Carnelian’s.

“Crap!” Amethyst said. Without another word, she reached for her Gem. It emitted a purplish light as she pulled her whip from its glow. “8XJ, get Steven away from here!”

“What are you talking about?!” he shouted. “I’m not going anywhere--”

Amethyst snapped her head back towards Steven. Once again, her color seemed to flicker.

“You want to know what I’m trying to hide from you? It’s _them_!” A hint of fear was in her voice. “I don’t want you to have to see this! I don’t--”

There was a loud _crash_ as the metal wall to Amethyst’s left shattered into jagged shrapnel that flew everywhere. Steven saw Amethyst and 8XJ get blown backwards, while Skinny pulled Carnelian after her by the hand as they ran, disappearing in the cloud of grey dust formed from the damage.

Metal flew towards Steven. He threw his arms up, his pink shield forming reflexively. In the same instant, White Pearl charged into him, tackling him to the floor, shielding him with her body.

Steven gently brushed White Pearl off him and looked towards the hole and saw ...

There was a gem with massive pink curly hair standing there, with an outfit similar to Jasper’s. She had full lips and thick, muscular arms.

The face was one Steven would have recognized anywhere. He’d seen it in the portrait in his house almost every day of his life. His throat felt dry until he finally managed to speak.

“... _mom_?” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be added at the top of the fic as well title image but I commissioned [potatoutou](http://potatoutou.tumblr.com/) recently and they did this wonderful art of White Pearl. (The Software Instability thing is a reference to Detroit: Become Human).
> 
>  
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> 
> They did a fantastic job and I'm super happy with it, so if you like this, please [support the artist on their tumblr](http://potatoutou.tumblr.com/). As of the time of this posting (9/1/2018), they are still doing commissions for those interested!


	10. Convergence

Steven laid with his mouth agape as he stared at ... at _Rose Quartz_ , standing there. Her clothes were different, but her face was the same one that hung proudly on the living room wall, that he’d memorized from Pearl’s holograms, and later from the clouds of his room. Her Gem was on her belly. It was her face - it was _her_.

Through the dust filling the hallway, Steven could see White Pearl getting up on her hands and knees.

“Steven, are you alright?”

Steven could say nothing. His hand unconsciously went to his Gem, as if he needed to reassure himself it was there.

Amethyst, standing with only 8XJ after Skinny and Carnelian disappeared in the debris, cracked her whip on the ground. 8XJ pointed her spear at Rose Quartz.

“ _You_!” Amethyst shouted. “Stay where you are with your hands in your air or--”

Rose Quartz opened her lips and ... her voice was definitely not Steven’s mom’s. It was much higher pitch.

“ _Do your worst, trash quartz_!”

Amethyst flinched.

“ _Oh_! Oh, we’re doing this now?!” she shouted. “Fine, be that way!”

Amethyst snapped her whip, which coiled around the Rose Quartz’s arm. She struggled, but Amethyst dug her feet into the floor and held her in place.

“Now then--” Amethyst started, but was immediately interrupted by a loud, booming voice from the hole.

“ **FOR PINK DIIIIIIAAAAAAMOND!** ”

Like a meteor, _another_ nearly identical Rose Quartz hurled herself at the first, the only difference being short hair and the Gem on her chest. Amethyst nearly tumbled over from the force of the tackle on her whip.

Steven blinked and shook her head. Neither one of these were mom so ...

... _of course_ , he thought. He remembered the last time her was here, spying on Yellow and Blue Diamond. The room they were in was filled with Rose Quartz bubbles. They must have escaped somehow!

“Steven, get back!” White Pearl said, grabbing him by the arm. “It’s not safe!”

Steven put his hand on hers.

“No wait! These Rose Quartzes were trapped here too!” he said, darting his eyes over to make sure Amethyst was still distracted. “They can help us!”

At that moment, the short haired Rose Quartz wrang the neck of the other Rose.

“I’VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS, REBEL SCUM!” the short-haired Rose Quartz boomed. “THIS PRISON FOR US WAS YOUR FAULT! SURRENDER NOW OR--”

The first Rose Quartz, failing to struggle from her grip, hocked back and spat in the short-haired one’s eye. The short haired one flinched, her face turning red.

“ _HEY_!”

The first Rose Quartz laughed then clutched the other Rose Quartz’s hair.

Steven cringed.

“O--kay, maybe they won’t help us,” Steven mumbled.

Amethyst yanked at her whip, only succeeding in jerking it loose from the Rose Quartz’s arm.

“8XJ, throw your spear at them!” Amethyst shouted.

“Um ... w-which one?” 8XJ said.

“FLIP A COIN, _WHO CARES_?! JUST DO SOMETHING!”

“Um, okay--” 8XJ threw her spear, which landed feet away from the struggling Rose Quartz.

“OH GREAT JOB, 8XJ!” Amethyst shouted. “I’M _SO_ GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON THE TEAM!”

“ _I’VE NEVER USED A SPEAR BEFORE_!”

“IT’S A POINTED STICK! DO YOU REALLY NEED ME TO DRAW A FREAKING DIAGRAM TO EXPLAIN IT?! MAYBE I’LL GET YOU A SWORD NEXT TIME! I’LL BE SURE TO MARK WHICH END TO HOLD FOR YOU!”

“ _Stop yelling at me_!” 8XJ snapped.

From the hole in the wall, another very short Rose Quartz, even shorter than Amethyst’s normal form, ran out and jumped on the short-haired Rose Quartz, beating down on her back despite her Gem being on her left hand. Her voice was flinty.

“Go back to Homeworld, _coward_!”

Amethyst rolled her eyes upon seeing the short Rose Quartz.

“ _THIS IS GETTING STUPID_!” She raised her whip getting ready to come down on them.

Steven looked to White Pearl. He was about to open his mouth and suggest they ... well he wasn’t exactly sure _what_ he was going to suggest, but it didn’t matter; he didn’t get the chance.

Through the dust, he felt a hand clamp over his mouth and jerk him towards the hole in the wall. He tried to shout to White Pearl, but she was distracted by the fight. She didn’t even realize what was happening as Steven disappeared in the dust cloud.

* * *

White Pearl stared at the struggling Rose Quartzes, the dust in the air only just starting to lessen. She didn’t particularly care for the rude Amethyst’s safety, or even the slightly more pleasant one with curly hair, but she couldn’t risk these Gems hurting Steven with their nonsense.

They needed to go.

Fortunately, White Pearl was able to do something about it, if all the Amethyst’s were going to do was stand there and argue.

She stared at the three Rose Quartz, then closed her eyes.

A moment later, she opened them. First, she focused on the small one, feeling the energy build up in her Gem.

The tiny Rose Quartz was biting the shoulder of the short-haired one.

“STOP THAT, THAT’S UNUSUAL!” the short-haired one shouted, not releasing her grip from the first Rose Quartz despite her struggles.

“SHUT UP!” the tiny one said.

White Pearl narrowed her eyes on the tiny one. She let the energy building release and ...

A white bubble appeared around the short Rose Quartz.

“Eh?!” the short one said, her voice muffled by the bubble. “What is this?”

White Pearl waved her hand in the air. In response, the bubble shot into the air, phased through the ceiling, and disappeared.

The short-haired one looked back, confused. The first Rose Quartz’s eyes went wide as White Pearl focused on her, a similar bubbled closing over her. The short-haired one jerked her hands back, as not to get caught.

“HEY!” the first Rose Quartz shouted. There was a pounding inside the bubble. “What are you doing?! Rose Quartz can free you, you stupid Pearl! She-”

White Pearl’s eyes flicked to the wall to her right--the one without a hole. In response, the bubble phased through that wall as well, stifling the whines of the Rose Quartz.

White Pearl started to focus on the short-haired one, her eyes darting around as if trying to process what had happened. But before White Pearl could release the energy necessary, the quartz laughed and threw her hands in the air.

“ _VICTORY_!” the short-haired Rose Quartz shouted. “SEE? EVEN A PEARL EMPOWERED WITH THE MORAL CLARITY OF THE DIAMONDS CAN STOMP THESE VILLAINS!”

The short-haired Rose Quartz stepped forward. White Pearl was about to form the bubble, but hesitated when the Rose Quartz knelt down and took her hand.

Despite White Pearl thinking this Rose Quartz was incapable of doing so, she lowered her voice.

“You honor me with your aid, beauty,” the Rose Quartz said. “Thank you for gracing me with your shine..”

White Pearl blinked, feeling her cheeks flush. She found her focus broken.

“I, uh ...” she stammered.

The short-haired Rose Quartz smiled at her ...

... but it turned to a grimace as the spear point burst through her chest, dangerously close to her Gem.

White Pearl’s mouth went agape.

The short-haired Rose Quartz glanced down, then looked up, fear in her eyes. A moment later, there was a flash of light accompanied by loud _poof._ The quartz gem clattered on the tile floor. With the Rose Quartz gone, White Pearl could now see the white Amethyst had been behind her, gripping the spear with an enraged glint to her eye.

She threw the spear to the floor then turned to 8XJ, who seemed as shocked as White Pearl.

“See 8XJ, THAT’S how you use a spear!” Amethyst said.

She picked the Rose Quartz gem off the floor and formed a clear white bubble around it, a normal one for containment.

“Gotta put this in the office with the others ...” Amethyst said, gently handling the bubble. She glanced over at White Pearl, who found herself frozen in place. Amethyst smiled. “Nice work!” With one hand, she smacked Pearl on the back, a little too hard for a friendly gesture. “I guess you’re useful after all!”

White Pearl blinked, only then breaking out the trance of that horrific scene.

It didn’t matter, she told herself. She didn’t like this Amethyst but ... that wasn’t too different from what White Pearl would do if she had to. She had to protect Steven and ...

White Pearl glanced around. She felt a sick feeling in her Gem.

“... Steven?” White Pearl looked around. The dust had settled, but ... but she couldn’t see him anywhere. She glanced towards the hole, but could see only darkness. “Steven?!” her voice got louder.

Amethyst’s eyes went wide. Her eyes darted around as well.

“STEVEN?!” Amethyst shouted.

White Pearl found herself breathing heavily despite not having the need. Before she could say anything, she found herself screaming at the top of her lungs.

“ **STEEEEVEN?!** ”

* * *

Steven struggled as he was pulled into the darkness. He could just barely make out the space beyond the hole, which appeared to be a cramped corridor, with pipes on either side. It reminded Steven of a boiler room. He coughed the dust from his lungs, finally able to pull the hand from his mouth.

“ _HEEELLLLP_!”

The hand clamped down again. A voice whispered in his ear.

“Steven, quiet down!”

“I--” Steven stopped struggling. He’d know that voice anywhere. “ _Connie_?!”

“Yes, it’s me! But please stay quiet.”

Connie let go, allowing Steven to twist around. His eyes adjusted enough to the dark that he could see Connie.

She looked like her. He knew it might sound odd to be surprised, but after seeing Amethyst, Steven couldn’t help but feel relieved. The only difference was her clothing; she now wore the usual white and purple outfit of the Zoomen, minus the earrings.

Steven stared at her. He reached out and touched her shoulder.

“You’re ... you’re really here,” he said.

Connie gave an uneasy smile.

“Last time I checked,” she said. “I’m glad you’re al-- ooh!”

Without wasting another second, he reached out and clung to Connie, as if afraid she’d fly away when he let go. His eyes became moist.

“Oh Connie, _you have no idea how glad I am to see you_!” he said, voice wavering. “I--I thought something horrible had happened and then when I saw Amethyst, I thought--”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Steven,” Connie whispered. She returned the hug, rubbing his back. “I’m here.”

Steven squeezed tighter. Connie tensed in his arms.

“Uh ... Steven?” she strained. “I think you’re going to break something ...”

“Oh gosh!” Steven jerked his arms back. “Heh ... sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Connie brushed hair behind her ear. “How did you get here?”

“Uh ... loooong story, but short version: White Diamond’s Pearl and I broke out of this tower White Diamond put me in, got mom’s ship, came here to rescue you.” He glanced down at Connie’s uniform again. “How did _you_ get here?”

“Well uh ...” Connie gave a nervous laugh. “I got put in the Zoo and I broke out to try to rescue _you_ before you showed up.”

Connie and Steven stared at each other. After a moment, they both let out a snicker.

“Oh wow,” Steven said, chuckling. “I probably should have figured you wouldn’t just be waiting to be rescued.”

“Have you _met_ me before?” Connie said giggling.

“I know, jeez.”

Steven laughed. He had to admit, this brief moment of awkwardness was the happiest he had felt since he’d arrived on Homeworld.

Connie glanced past Steven.

“We should be safe here for a bit,” Connie said. “Skinny and Carnelian should be around soon.”

“Huh?”

Connie smiled.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “They’ve been helping me out behind Amethyst’s back.” Connie grimaced, her gaze flickering back in the direction of the hole. “They’ve uh ... also been really cool about aspects of my plan that ... haven’t panned out super well ...”

Steven blinked.

“Okay, what exactly is going on?” Steven said. “Like ... what is going on with Amethyst? What happened to you guys? Where’s Garnet and Pearl and ... and why are there like a bajillion Rose Quartzes around?”

“Okay that last one is my fault, and all the other stuff ...” Connie sighed, her eyes downcast. “I don’t know everything but let’s get further away from the hole and I’ll ... I’ll tell you what I know.”

Connie took his hand and started to lead him down the corridor.

Steven felt a knot in his stomach.

“Are ... are the others at least okay?” Steven whispered.

Connie stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“... I _hope_ so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will likely be a short hiatus of the "there's a hurricane coming, I'm probably going to lose power, and I'm going to focus on trying to not die" variety. Sorry about that, I'm not happy about it either XD. Wish me luck.


End file.
